Finding out you’re pregnant when it wasn’t planned can feel quite overwhelming, especially when you’re already balancing work or school responsibilities. If you’re considering making an adoption plan and wondering how you’ll manage everything during your pregnancy, please know that you’re not alone. Many birthmothers successfully navigate these challenges, and with the right support and information, you can too.
Understanding Your Rights
Whether you’re working, going to school, or both, it’s important to know that you have legal protections during your pregnancy.
At Work: If you’re employed, federal laws protect you from pregnancy discrimination. This means your employer cannot fire you, reduce your hours, or treat you unfairly just because you’re pregnant. You may also be entitled to reasonable accommodations, such as:
- More frequent breaks
- A chair or stool if you typically stand
- Limited heavy lifting
- Flexible scheduling for doctor appointments
If you’re working at a larger company, you may be eligible for unpaid time off around your delivery date through the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA). Ask your human resources department or your supervisor for more information.
At School: If you’re a student, there are federal education laws that protect your right to continue your education during pregnancy. These protections mean your school cannot discriminate against you because you’re pregnant. Your school must:
- Allow you to continue participating in classes and extracurricular activities
- Provide reasonable adjustments when needed
- Excuse absences related to pregnancy or childbirth
- Allow you to make up missed work
- Offer the same special services they provide to students with other temporary medical conditions
Many schools also have resources specifically for pregnant students, including counseling services and academic support programs. To find out what’s available at your school, try speaking with a guidance counselor or social worker, the school nurse or health department, a trusted teacher or advisor, or the student services department.
Strategies for Managing School
Continuing your education while pregnant may feel challenging, but the following strategies can help make it more manageable. Remember that investing in your education now creates more opportunities for your future, and many birthmothers find that focusing on school helps them feel empowered during this challenging time.
Open Communication: Consider talking with your teachers or professors about your situation. This might feel intimidating, but many educators will want to work with you to help you succeed. You don’t need to share that you’re making an adoption plan unless you feel comfortable doing so – simply explaining that you’re pregnant is enough. You might say something like: “I wanted to let you know that I’m pregnant and due in [month]. I’m committed to my education and would appreciate working together on any accommodations I might need.”
Flexible Learning Options: Talk to your teachers or professors about extended due dates for assignments when needed and possible alternative testing arrangements. Ask about online or hybrid classes that allow you to study from home or recorded lectures you can watch if you are not feeling well enough to attend class in person.
Planning Ahead: Speak with your academic advisor or guidance counselor about making adjustments to your class schedule to accommodate your pregnancy symptoms. For example, you could plan a lighter course load for later in your pregnancy when you’re more likely to be tired, or you could schedule your classes in a way to avoid longer stretches of time in class or on campus. Make sure you have a plan for handling missed classes and work around your delivery time, and know what your options are for incomplete grades or medical leave if needed.
Strategies for the Workplace
If you’re working during your pregnancy, these approaches can help you manage:
Deciding When to Share the News: You’re not legally required to tell your employer about your pregnancy until you need accommodations or leave. Consider your workplace culture and your own comfort level when deciding when to share this information. When you do share your news, focus on your commitment to your job and how you plan to manage your responsibilities. Again, you only need to share that you’re making an adoption plan if you feel comfortable doing so.
Managing Physical Challenges: Pregnancy brings physical changes that can make work more difficult. Take short breaks to get up and walk around, which can help minimize swelling. Wear comfortable shoes and use a pillow on your chair for lower back support. Keep crackers or clear soda nearby to help with morning sickness, and stay hydrated throughout your workday.
Planning for Time Off: If you’re receiving prenatal care, you’ll need time off to attend appointments, and you’ll also need time off for your labor, delivery, and recovery. Ask about your company’s policies regarding sick leave, vacation time, and medical leave, and talk to your supervisor about how your responsibilities will be handled during your absence. If possible, consider requesting temporary reduced hours if full-time work becomes too challenging.
Self-Care While Juggling Responsibilities
Remember that your health and your baby’s health are the priority, and taking care of yourself is an important part of your adoption plan. When you’re balancing so many responsibilities, it’s easy to put your own needs last. But caring for yourself is essential – both for your well-being and for a healthy pregnancy.
Listen to Your Body: Pregnancy can be physically demanding. Pay attention to what your body is telling you and understand that you may not be able to do everything you were able to do before. Take breaks when you need them, and rest when you’re tired, even if it means adjusting your schedule. Eat regular meals, even when you’re busy.
Emotional Support: Making an adoption plan while managing work or school is emotionally complex. Talking openly about what you’re going through can be helpful. Seek support from friends, family, or someone else you trust or join an online support group for birthmothers. Costs for meeting with a therapist, counselor, or social worker are usually included as part of your adoption plan, so take advantage of that opportunity if possible.
Setting Boundaries: It’s okay to say no to any extra responsibilities or commitments right now. Prioritize what is most important for your future and your adoption plan, and don’t hesitate to ask for help when you need it.
Finances: Financial stress can be especially challenging during pregnancy. Explore resources that might help, such as pregnancy-related Medicaid programs, food assistance programs like WIC or SNAP, and school-based financial aid programs. Your adoption agency or social worker can help you get assistance with pregnancy-related expenses as part of your adoption plan.
How Your Adoption Professional Can Help
Your adoption agency can be an invaluable resource while you’re balancing pregnancy with work or school responsibilities.
Practical Support: Many adoption agencies can help you get letters for your school or employer requesting accommodations, referrals to community resources and support services, financial assistance for pregnancy-related expenses, and transportation to doctor appointments.
Emotional Support: A listening ear can help when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Your adoption professional can provide counseling services tailored to your needs and may be able to connect you with other birthmothers who have been in similar situations. They can also offer guidance on communicating with your teacher or employer.
Advocacy: Your adoption professional is an advocate for you. If you encounter difficulties at work or school, they will help you understand your legal rights, support you in conversations with administrators or supervisors, and connect you with legal resources if needed.
Looking Forward
The challenges you’re facing now are only temporary. The strength you’re showing by continuing your education or work while making an adoption plan demonstrates your strength and determination. Don’t forget that you’re investing in your own future. Many birthmothers find that maintaining these connections to their goals and aspirations helps them through the emotional journey of adoption.
Remember that you don’t have to navigate this alone. At Angel Adoption, we’re here to support you every step of the way – from understanding your rights to accessing resources that can help you succeed in both your work and school environments.
If you’d like to learn more about how we can support you during this time, please reach out to us. Your strength inspires us, and we’re honored to walk alongside you on this journey.
