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How to Keep Good Communication in an Open Adoption

baby surrounded with books about adoptionWhen it comes to open and semi-open adoptions, good communication between birthparents and adoptive parents is key. But sometimes keeping the communication healthy and the relationship good can be taxing. Different people want different things, and it is not uncommon for people to disagree and even fight. Everyone wants what’s best for the child, but those things are sometimes very different. So how do you deal with keeping a healthy level of communication in an open adoption? Here is a guide that will help you with all your questions.

Before an Open Adoption:

Every adoption creates a unique partnership, and every partnership requires communication and openness.

  • Before the adoption, it’s a good idea to talk and communicate with a birthmother throughout her pregnancy. This is the only way to get to know each other better, and form a healthy relationship you can continue to build on after the adoption.
  • Respect her wishes and talk to her about the level of openness you’re both comfortable with. During your first meeting, try to talk about your common interests, but avoid personal questions. This is the time to get to know her as much as possible, and present yourself to her. Relationship flourishes over the time, so try to keep that in mind.
  • Talk to her about the ways of communication that work best for all involved. Maybe you would like to talk to her in person, via text, or via email.
  • Try to arrange as many things as you can with a birthmother before the adoption. Create an adoption plan and talk to her about her desirable hospital plan. This way you can avoid unwanted surprises during the adoption process. Open adoption allows you to arrange some things with a birthmother in a way that suits you both.

After an Open Adoption:

  • When you get to know each other, you should nurture your relationship. Show a birthmother that you want her to be a part of your life. A thoughtful gift, such as an adoption story book, is a nice way to show that you care.
  • During the first year, call your birthmother as often as possible, depending on your arrangement.
  • It’s also good to let her know that you’ve arrived home with the baby safe.
  • Another great way to maintain communication in an open adoption is to create a website or a blog of updates about the child and share it with your birthmother.
  • Remember that open adoption is all about communication. The relationship between adoptive parents and a birthmother changes and evolves over the time, so it’s important to be open to change. If she wants to visit the child more or less often, you will have to think about how this is going to affect you and your child.

Both adoptive and birthparents want what’s best for their child, and that is why open and healthy communication is so important. Sometimes it can be very difficult to determine which line shouldn’t be crossed and what is the best way of communicating. Communication in an open adoption is extremely important because keeping it at a nice level is crucial for the development and emotional health of your child. So if you are having issues, just follow this handy guide and your family will be happy and healthy.