Considering Adoption: For Birthmothers

Expectant mother considering adoption for her baby

The perils of an unplanned pregnancy are vast. Mothers facing this dilemma have to reshape their future all in a matter of nine months. Depending on the circumstances, this experience can feel more like an emergency as opposed to a blessing.

As difficult as facing the facts of pregnancy are, deciding what you’re going to do about your situation is even harder. The options for unplanned pregnancy are thin on the ground, and some of them cause moral dilemmas as well.

Adoption is a popular alternative for mothers wanting to give their unborn child a chance at life. Although popular, this avenue poses pros and cons that require wholehearted consideration. Let’s consider a few popular pros and cons of adoption. 

The Pros of Adoption

  • You Know Your Child Is in Good Hands

In order for parents to adopt in the United States, they must undergo a strict process. Some agencies even require families to make a specific income if they wish to adopt. Because of this, mothers wishing to give their child up for adoption will have peace of mind knowing their child is in a stable home.

  • You Could Have Contact With Your Baby

Depending on the agency you work with, you may have access to your child via the family’s permission. While you may not be in your child’s life every day, you may receive pictures, attend milestones, and remain in contact with your child. 

  • You Can Improve Your Life

Having a baby, planned or unplanned, can make achieving future goals difficult. When you make the decision to give your child up for adoption, you’re paving the way for greater opportunities. Maybe you’ll finish college or be able to focus on your career.

The Cons of Adoption

  • Potential Psychological Issues

Giving away a child that you’ve carried for nine months doesn’t come easy. Many mothers report feelings of depression, anxiety, and even PTSD after the adoption process. This, in conjunction with postpartum, can make the transition from motherhood to adoption difficult.

  • Lack of Contact

Although some agencies allow the mother to have contact with her child under supervised settings, others do not. These are commonly known as “closed” adoptions. Many mothers who want to stay in touch with their child may feel a sense of disconnect if they go through with a closed adoption. Not being able to see their child grow over time surely leads to feelings of concern, as well as difficult emotions to process.

  • Community Backlash

Each woman is entitled to make her own decisions about her body and child. However, others in her inner circle or even network of influences may not agree with her decision. This could lead to family drama and often times, ostracism. 

Feelings of Regret

Choosing to place your child for adoption may seem like the best choice initially- perhaps even years after your child is born and placed with a family. However, that doesn’t mean your position may change over time. It’s important to be aware that your emotions could change and you may feel regret down the line. However, it’s impossible to know the future; you can only make your decision based on what you know and feel now.

When you’re making your decision regarding adoption, it’s vital that you keep your needs the needs of your child at the forefront. Make a concerted effort to analyze the pros and cons of adoption so as to make the best decision possible. 

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Angel Adoption, Inc. provides marketing and advertising services that assist biological parents considering adoption and prospective adoptive parents to connect with each other, and provides support and referral services throughout the process. Angel Adoption, Inc. is an independent contractor and provides services under the supervision of Lutheran Child and Family Services of Illinois, License #012998, One Oakbrook Terrace, #501, Oakbrook Terrace, IL 60181; 708-771-7180.