It may seem like an avalanche of factors are outside of your control during an adoption, so it’s not uncommon for hopeful parents to assume they can, at most, choose the birth mother. But in ethical adoptions, the process is mutual — birth mothers also want a say in who will raise their child.
At Angel Adoption, we honor this and support a birth mother matching process that is open or semi-open to encourage transparency. Many families beginning their journey want to choose the birth mother in adoption in El Paso, but it’s a mutual selection process.
It’s natural to want to build a connection with the birth mother, and at Angel Adoption, we’re here to help you do that while respecting the birth mother’s wishes. If you’re looking to adopt a baby in El Paso, this article will reveal what you can do to find a birth mother who best matches what your family is looking for.
You don’t have to do this journey alone — our adoption agency in El Paso has guided hundreds of Texas families to successful adoptions over the past 27 years. Contact our experts today for personalized guidance.
The Reality of Birth Mother Matching in El Paso
As you start the adoption journey, take steps to emotionally prepare yourself for the mutual selection process. The adoption timeline can take 6 to 24 months. Although a birth-mother-led adoption process takes time, we are here to assist you and the birth mother in making a meaningful connection.
The key components of an ethical adoption vary, depending on whether it’s closed, open, or semi-open. But these factors remain the same: The adoptive parent(s) must complete a home study, and the adoption agency must provide up-to-date information to all parties. At every step of the process, everyone must consider the child’s well-being.
In ethical adoptions, the ability to choose the birth mother in adoption in El Paso is reversed — birth mothers typically choose adoptive families. The agency she works with empowers her by providing her with accurate information about the adoption process and prospective families. She can also change her mind at any time.
In Texas, adoption agencies, birth mothers, and adoptive parents must meet legal requirements like those in Family Code 162. These requirements include health evaluations, family history information, background checks, fingerprinting, the Termination of Parental Rights, and more.
An adoption agency ensures both parties meet all of the state and federal requirements involved in adopting a child.
Creating an Authentic Profile That Resonates
You introduce your family to potential birth mothers with an adoptive parent profile. You want to make a lasting first impression. Here are a few tips to putting together a successful adoption profile:
- Consider your intended audience — the birth mother. Be respectful of her feelings. Tell her you and your family want the best for her child. In your reassurances, though, don’t make assumptions or judgments of her circumstances or feelings.
- Ask yourself what she needs to know about you. Build an emotional connection with the birth mother and paint a picture of what the baby’s life would look like if you raised them. Share what type(s) of adoption you’re open to. Tell memorable stories about your family. Help the birth mother get to know you better by including photos or a profile video.
- Consider the birth mother’s community and location. With El Paso’s rich blend of Mexican and American cultures, birth mothers may seek prospective parents to uphold their unique heritage, language, or traditions. It’s not uncommon for birth mothers to want their baby to grow up speaking her language or being bilingual. Your writing should reflect cultural sensitivity and your openness to diverse backgrounds.
You can’t choose the birth mother in adoptions in El Paso. However, creating an authentic and respectful profile can resonate with a birth mother who has hopes and values that closely match yours. The more honest you are in your profile, the more opportunity there is to build rapport with the birth mother.
Understanding Birth Mother Priorities in El Paso
In a birth mother matching process, it’s important to remember what matters to expectant mothers. Some common misconceptions of birth mothers include that she doesn’t care about the baby, isn’t involved in the process, won’t want to see the baby after the adoption, will regret her decision, or that she is a teenager. (Teen births are actually declining in El Paso.)
Birth mothers have priorities that differ across backgrounds. And in a border community such as El Paso, it’s essential to remain open to a variety of preferences from birth mothers. In addition to the openness in the adoption and educational or financial hopes for her child, she may be partial to finding adoptive families with shared values, beliefs, and culture.
Understanding birth mother perspectives is crucial when you want to connect with a birth mother in adoptions in El Paso. You’re more likely to build a strong connection with a birth mother if you can easily empathize with her.
The Unique Needs of El Paso Birth Mothers
Birth mothers in El Paso have unique needs shaped by socioeconomic and cultural nuances. Being a border community, El Paso has opportunities and challenges regarding healthcare access, transportation, housing, and more. Therefore, expectant mothers must have access to critical resources.
In addition to limited income, many expectant mothers face educational barriers and employment instability. The Texas Health and Human Services Benefits Office or the El Paso County Community Services Department can help if the birth mother needs financial assistance. When looking for agencies, see if they can help with local bilingual adoption when English and Spanish-speaking assistance is needed.
Adoptive parents often want to ensure that their birth mother receives the medical and living support she needs. Your lawyer or adoption agency can also advise you about birth mother financial support and the corresponding legal and ethical guidelines.
With a large military community around Fort Bliss, there is another layer of emotional and logistical considerations. The Fort Bliss Army Community Service and the Military and Family Support Center have programs to assist members of the military and their families in financial readiness, counseling, and new parent support.
Support resources are a key consideration when you choose a birth mother for adoption in El Paso. Ensuring she has access to adoption planning, counseling, financial assistance, healthcare, housing, and more builds trust and understanding between you and her.
Ethical Considerations in the Selection Process
Do your research on adoption agencies before you start the process; you do not want to be a victim of adoption fraud. According to the FBI, some red flags for prospective families and birth parents include coercion, manipulation, difficulty reaching the agency via phone or email, and an unnecessary amount of control over the communication between both parties in the adoption.
In an ethical adoption, the agency uses a birth mother matching process and honors her autonomy. The agency should be transparent in all communications, financial boundaries, and legal requirements.
The agency can offer guidance to birth parents and prospective adoptive parents about the matching process and ethical boundaries. The agency will also respect the revocation period (which in Texas is 10 days). Look for these components and state accreditations when selecting an adoption professional.
Ethical awareness is essential when parents choose a birth mother in adoptions in El Paso, an area shaped by diverse backgrounds and sensitive dynamics. During your adoption profile creation, acknowledge the difference between personal preferences and discriminatory practices.
Let cultural humility (respecting a birth mother’s values and experiences) guide your interactions. Ethical adoptions are worth it. They build trust, protect all parties, and have a life-long positive impact on the child.
Post-Match Relationship Building in El Paso
Your adoption profile may have ignited a connection with the birth mother. But the relationship can deepen (depending, of course, on what type of adoption the birth mother chooses) after you and the birth mother are matched.
As early as possible, communicate honestly and often with the birth mother to build trust. Through this, you’ll learn what type of adoption she wants. You can discuss what level of involvement she’d like you to have during the pregnancy, at the hospital giving birth, and after birth. Consider creating a post-birth agreement where both parties state how often the baby and birth mother receive updates about each other.
While you wait for the baby to be born, you can do things to show the birth mother you’re committed to the baby’s future. Read parenting and child development books, complete home projects to get your house ready for the baby, and fundraise for your adoption costs. You may also reach out to the birth mother and see if she’s comfortable with you accompanying her to the prenatal doctor appointments.
Always keep in mind what the birth mother may be experiencing. For decades, society dismissed the feelings of the birth mothers. According to the National Council for Adoption, the birth mother may experience a myriad of losses known as birth parent grief. You can’t choose a birth mother in adoption in El Paso, but you can choose to respect her wishes, show her your dedication to her and the baby’s well-being, and build a meaningful relationship with her so she feels supported.
Final Thoughts on El Paso’s Birth Mother Matching Process
From the start, an ethical adoption respects the birth mother’s autonomy. It encourages a mutual selection process and fosters a connection between prospective adoptive parents and the birth mother.
As you prepare to connect with a birth mother in adoption in El Paso — remember to be patient. The birth mother chooses you, and then you, in turn, choose her. Building families is all about coming together. Even with closed adoptions, the appreciation adoptive parents have for their child’s birth mother and her story creates a strong foundation for their child’s future life.
Build a strong foundation for your relationship with her by creating an authentic adoption profile, staying honest in your communications, and honoring her wishes. It might take time, but a meaningful relationship with her birth mother is what’s best for everyone involved, especially the child.
Your adoption journey deserves the guidance of true experts. At Angel Adoption, we’ve helped hundreds of Texas families successfully build their forever families over the past 27 years. Our experienced team understands the unique challenges and opportunities of El Paso adoptions.
Take the first step toward meeting your child and discover why we’re trusted by families throughout Texas.
