An expecting mother could experience an array of different feelings while getting an ultrasound. It is important for expectant mothers that have an adoption plan for their baby to understand that experiencing these emotions are normal and expected.
The following are some of the feelings an expectant mother might have during an ultrasound:
1. Shock or numbness
If your pregnancy was unplanned, then you might be distancing yourself from the baby, which may cause some shock when seeing an image or hearing the heartbeat because it hits hard with evidence of the baby.
Another reason an expectant mother might be in shock is if the ultrasound is how she finds out about the pregnancy.
2. Sadness or grief
Choosing adoption for your child might be a difficult decision that can make you feel sad at times. This emotion may be heightened during the ultrasound because you can hear the heartbeat, which may emphasize your understanding of what you are losing. You might even begin to think choosing to parent is the better option for you.
3. Attachment to baby or love for the baby
As mentioned, it is common for expectant mothers to distance themself from the baby to help lighten the emotions involved and make the decision easier. However, you may find that you feel a bond between yourself and the baby during the ultrasound, because hearing and seeing the baby makes it difficult to ignore the fact that there is a baby growing inside you.
Similar to any other expectant mother, you might be worrying about your baby’s health and well-being. It doesn’t matter that you might be choosing adoption, because no matter what you love them and want the best for them, including good health. An ultrasound can confirm that your baby is developing as expected which will give you a feeling of relief.
5. Happiness or joy
Whether it is happiness for you, the baby, or the adoptive parents, you might expect to feel happy when hearing the baby is healthy, because it may give you joy and pride knowing you get to bring a healthy baby into this world and give it new opportunities. If the adoptive parents are in the room with you, then you might be happy to see their reaction to the ultrasound.
Specifically, at the second trimester, or 20-week, ultrasound, you will get to find out your baby’s gender. This is encouraged for expectant mothers considering adoption because it may affect your decision. If the child is a girl and you always wanted a girl, then you might be disappointed and it might make it harder for you to be happy for the adoptive parents.
Additionally, you might find out the baby has health complications, which can be disappointing for any expectant mother, and in this situation the adoptive parents as well, because you might feel that it ruins the dreams you had for your child.
Similar to happiness, you might also feel excitement for the adoptive parents and the baby’s future. You might be starting to visualize the adoption plan and getting excited to meet the baby.
While there are a lot of feelings you might experience during your ultrasound, you might also feel nothing or feel no different than you did before.
There is no “right” or “wrong” way to feel. Just make sure to take care of yourself and listen to your feelings. Reach out for support and counseling when you feel you need it.