While adoption is a joyous occasion, It’s no secret that the adoption process can involve a great deal of stress. Meeting a potential birthmother for the first time can certainly be one of those stressful situations, but it’s easier if you have an idea of what to expect.
Meeting a birthmother is a rewarding experience, and when you know what to expect everything is going to be easier. Sometimes adoptive parents are matched with their birthmother early in the pregnancy, while others might not meet her until she’s in the hospital. So you should be prepared for both scenarios. Here are some tips for your first meeting with a birthmother.
Get Support from Professionals
It’s much harder to build a relationship with a birthmother in the hospital after the baby is born. That’s why you should have your adoption plan prepared in advance. It can be helpful to have your adoption professional with you when you have your contact meeting. You will have the opportunity to prepare properly and talk to your adoption professional beforehand. Here are some questions you can ask a birthmother if you’re meeting her in the hospital for the first time.
- What was the pregnancy like?
- What was the birth like?
- Who held the baby first?
- Make sure to ask about her interests and favorite hobbies.
- Is there anything you want the child to know as they grow up?
Always Show Respect & Understanding
By choosing adoption, a birthmother is facing many difficult questions. Some of those questions involve her feelings about the decision to place her child for adoption, some are about an impact of that decision later in life. That’s why you need to treat her like any of your friends when they’re facing a problem. Ask her questions about herself and the pregnancy, but avoid overly personal questions during your first meeting. Just try to establish a human connection.
Answer Questions Honestly
By now you know that adoption is all about honesty. You can’t even get approved for one if you’re not completely honest and open about who you are. Just follow that pattern and let a birthmother know you’re a trustworthy person. Also, remember to listen!
Show Who You Are
When meeting a birthmother, the key is to connect. During your first meeting, a birthmother wants to get a feel of your life as a whole. A great idea is to bring some photos to show her who you really are. Bring photos of your family, childhood memories, pets, your home, and your family vacations. This is a great opportunity to show her the life her child could have with you.