Developing Attachment After Adoption

adoptive familyCreating an attachment with your adopted child is crucial, but it can be a hard thing to do. There are many fun and simple ways to help you build a healthy relationship. Forming a bond can take some time. Don’t anticipate that there will be an instant connection. It is important to be patient and set small goals. In some cases, it can happen quickly, but in others, it can take a couple of years. It all depends on the child.

Fun Ways to Help Bond

The following are some fun and simple ways to develop attachment:

  • Read Together: Reading together can create an intimate bond between you and your child. Taking time out of your hectic schedule shows them they are important. Libraries are a great way to ensure you have an endless supply of books. Thrift stores and used book stores are also great places to find affordable books.
  • Take Walks: On nice days, take advantage of the weather and take a walk. The walks don’t have to be long and strenuous; they just need to give the child the opportunity to explore the neighborhood. Hiking at state parks is also a great way to get out of the house and learn about nature.
  • Go on Road Trips: Be spontaneous and take your child on a road trip! The trips don’t have to be grand adventures. Small things can be the most memorable and fun. Find a new ice-cream parlor, visit museums, go to the park, just be adventurous.
  • Play: All children love to play. Spending quality time with your child every day playing will create a connection. It doesn’t matter what type of game. It can be something simple like building blocks, a board game or even a puzzle.
  • Let Them Help in the Kitchen: Allowing your child to help you cook can help strengthen your bond. Sharing old recipes and stories gives them a feeling that they are part of the family. It also gives your child a way to get interested in food. They are more likely to try new foods and be less picky if they had a hand in making it.
  • Crafting: Crafting is an easy way to create a bond with your child. There are so many different types of activities that you can do. Crafting can bring the whole family together and allows your child to be creative.

Don’t Rush It

Bonding with a child can take time. It doesn’t matter their age or if they were a domestic adoption or international adoption. All adoptions can be difficult. Babies may refuse to eat and act out, while older children may rebel and be defiant.

Time is your friend. Work with the child and show them they can trust you. Set up daily routines and set rules so they know what to expect. Don’t pressure them — let it happen naturally. Make sure that you include them in daily activities and conversations. Give them the opportunity to learn about you while you learn about them.

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Angel Adoption, Inc. provides marketing and advertising services that assist biological parents considering adoption and prospective adoptive parents to connect with each other, and provides support and referral services throughout the process. Angel Adoption, Inc. is an independent contractor and provides services under the supervision of Lutheran Child and Family Services of Illinois, License #012998, One Oakbrook Terrace, #501, Oakbrook Terrace, IL 60181; 708-771-7180.