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Connecting to a Birthmother

When adoptive parents are beginningbirthmother their adoption journey, one of the first questions that is how long does adoption take. Usually, this depends on how quickly you find the right match with your birthmother. Once adoptive parents finish their adoptive family profiles, they will have to wait to receive a positive response to it. Even when you get a positive response to your profile, that doesn’t mean there will be an immediate adoption. You still have a long way to go. Open adoption requires a lot of communication and planning and it’s important to establish a healthy relationship with your birthmother. Here are some ways to help connect with your birthmother!

1. Expectant mothers will want to know about you.

Your adoption family profile is just a first step towards adoption. It tells a birthmother some basic information about you and it helps her to create an image about what your family is like. She will be processing a lot of information, so try to empathize what she might want to know. Be honest and true to yourself to express the real reasons that you would be great parents and the best fit for her baby. 

2. Talk openly about your wishes and fears.

You should avoid personal questions or adoption topics during your first conversation. You can start your communication slowly, through email or a phone conversation and eventually you arrange a face-to-face meeting. As the time goes on and you get to know each other better, it will be easier to develop rapport. It’s normal that you might want to find out about her and her life, but let her share the details with you when she’s ready. An open adoption allows you to arrange the details about an adoption plan prior to the adoptive family birthday. 

3. Read birthmother’s blogs.

It’s important to understand how your birthmother feels about the adoption. Maybe she’s nervous, guarded and it’s hard to share her wishes and fears with you. You can read blogs that birthmothers have written to learn her perspective a little bit better. Knowing common feelings that come to the surface when deciding on adoption, might help you connect with her on a deeper level.