An adoption is a joyous process that creates love and family, but with every adoption there is also heroic sacrifice involved. Even if a birthmother is sure about her decision to place her baby up for adoption, there is usually a grieving process for her. An adoption process often stays with a birthmother a long time emotionally due to the fact that there might be unanswered questions about what it may be like for her child after the adoption. For a birthmother, there can be feelings of grief, anger, and guilt that arrive after the placement. Even though her choice permits the child the very best life possible, and she knows it is the right choice, it is important to be familiar with the main impacts of adoption on birthmothers and learn how to move forward in a healthy way. Here are a few ways to cope in healthy ways after adoption.
1. Acknowledge your feelings.
Grief, guilt, shame, identity issues, thinking about the child, and impacts on other relationships are just some of the feelings that birthmothers often experience after the adoption. As a birthmother, you should be aware that these feelings are normal, so acknowledge them. There is no timetable that predicts when the grief be resolved, so allow yourself some time to grieve and recover.
2. Create a post-adoption plan.
It’s always good to stay busy during emotional and stressful times, so write down the things you’ve wanted to do for a long time and try to include as many activities as you can in your schedule. It’s important to create a post-adoption plan before the placement because it’s good to stay busy and focused after the adoption takes place.
3. Share your feelings.
It’s alway easier when you have a support network, so share your feelings with your loved ones or anyone else you trust. If you don’t want to share your feelings with people close to you, you can always seek out support groups for birthmothers. There are also a lot of helpful online adoption groups, websites, and blogs so take advantage of those support services. Sometimes, it’s easier to share your feelings with someone who has been through the same experience as what you’re going through.
4. Stay positive and motivated.
If you want to move forward in a healthy way, you may want to try out some new activities and hobbies. This is a great way to stay busy and motivated. Learn how to stay focused through meditation or breathing exercises. You can also concentrate on helping others. If you turn your attention to the needs of others, you can redirect your emotions.
5. Share your story.
Sometimes it easier to acknowledge your feelings if you write them down. You can also become a part of adoption support network if you start a blog and share your adoption experience. This way you can motivate and inspire other birthmothers who are going through the adoption process. You deserve to have your voice heard.