Is Adoption Bad? 5 Bad Adoption Motivations

adopt a babyAdopting a baby is a life-changing event for all parties involved. However, some people may think that a new arrival will erase all their preexisting wrongs. In almost every case, however, this is untrue. Adopting a newborn adds a new level of stress, not to mention lack of sleep as new parents care for a baby with odd hours of sleep, diaper changing needs, and feeding times. Adopting a baby is likely to make any pre-existing issues flare up and maybe even get worse. So, let’s take a look at some of the top reasons that are wrong for choosing to adopt a baby. 

Biological Clock/Peer Pressure: Your friends, family, and even society as a whole can greatly impact you and your partner when it comes to wanting to adopt a baby. However, remember it is you (and, if applicable, your partner) who will be raising the child, so key decisions need to be made by you, not well-meaning friends and family. Advice from your loved ones is great, but if they push you into a life-long event that you really don’t want, it could spell disaster for everyone involved.

Saving a Child: While wanting to rescue a child from a perceived future of hardship is honorable, it is also a wrong reason to adopt. Adopted children need to be brought into a home where they are wanted, not where they have been rescued. 

Save a Marriage/Relationship: Couples often think that a baby will fix all their relationship troubles and that they’ll be able to play “happy family” with none of the stress of the past. As many existing parents will tell you, however, a new addition to the family can actually put more strain on a relationship and can require a stronger bond to successfully navigate the event, due to the massive change a child brings to a parent’s life. Adopting a child for this reason is unfair on the baby and should never be used as a reason for adoption.

You Need an Heir: If you’re childless and looking to adopt a baby simply to have an heir or have someone to care for you in your old age, think again. If this is your driving reason to raise a child, it is a selfish motive, and you may need to reevaluate your motivations for parenthood.

Settling for Adoption: Parents with infertility problems can often view adoption as a backup or a second-best option. Adoption should never be seen this way. Adoption should always be thought of as simply a different way to start a family, and not a better-than-nothing outcome.

The Right Reasons
There are so many great reasons to adopt, such as you and your partner are in a strong place in your relationship and feel ready to start a family. You nay be unable to have biological children but wish to adopt to create your own amazing family. The desire to give a child a loving and caring family may be at the top of your right reasons to adopt. 

For adoption to be successful, you need to make sure that both you and your partner are ready to adopt. If you aren’t united in your decision, then adopting a baby can be a risk, and if accompanied with any of the wrong reasons listed above, it can lead to adoption breakdown or failure, not to mention a lot of emotional and mental harm for both you and the adopted child. 

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Angel Adoption, Inc. provides marketing and advertising services that assist biological parents considering adoption and prospective adoptive parents to connect with each other, and provides support and referral services throughout the process. Angel Adoption, Inc. is an independent contractor and provides services under the supervision of Lutheran Child and Family Services of Illinois, License #012998, One Oakbrook Terrace, #501, Oakbrook Terrace, IL 60181; 708-771-7180.