Adopting a baby is a major undertaking and it will change your life forever. Some people might think that a child will change everything that seems to be wrong. In many cases, this is not true, since this feeling always comes together with a pressure to fit in. If any of the wrong reasons to adopt below describe your sole purpose for pursuing adoption, it may not be the best option for you at this time.
- Pressure from family and friends. People around you can have a great impact on your decision — don’t let that happen to you. You and your partner are the ones who are going to raise a baby. It is good to ask for advice, but advice is welcomed the most when you want to clear things up, not if you want someone to make a decision for you.
- Saving children. If you think that by adopting a baby you are going to save him or her, that is indeed a wrong reason. Children don’t need to be brought into a family that thinks saving is what they need.
- Save a marriage. Often, one side chooses to adopt a baby considering it as a marriage-saving decision. Adoption is a process that takes full consideration of both parties in a relationship. Otherwise, it is likely to cause even greater tensions in your marriage. This is another unfair situation to bring a baby into. Partners need to talk about and solve their core issues before undertaking this life-changing decision.
- You want to have an heir. If you want to adopt a baby just because you want to continue the family line or have someone to leave your inheritance to, rethink your choices. If this is the first thing you think of when someone asks why you want to adopt a baby, this is a negative reason.
- I’ll settle for adoption. When parents have infertility problems, that can have a big impact on their relationship and their emotional state. If you can’t have biological children, adoption is not “second best.” You need to be aware of the fact that adopting a baby is just choosing a different way to create your family, not something you are settling with.
A Few Positive Reasons to Adopt a Baby
- You have a wonderful relationship and you want to raise a baby since you feel ready to become parents.
- You cannot have biological children for whatever reason and you turned to adoption because it’s just another wonderful way to create a family.
- The desire to give a child a family is another positive reason. If you have grown in a loving and caring family, it is sure that that is the only thing you want for your baby to have.
If you or your partner isn’t totally ready to adopt a baby, there is a huge risk in jumping into the adoption process. Any of the negative reasons mentioned above can be harmful to both the child and your relationship. Talk to your partner and explore what this process can bring to you both and make sure you aren’t motivated chiefly by any wrong reasons to adopt.