An unplanned pregnancy can be a terrifying thing for many people. No matter what stage of life you’re in, this is a huge physical and emotional change you’ll be going through. If you think that adoption may be the best choice for you and your child, you may be wondering what your options are regarding the adoption. As the birthmother, you get to make most of the major decisions about how the adoption will go, and you can lay those decisions out on paper in an adoption plan that your adoption agency can help you put together. Here are a few of the options you’ll be able to consider if you decide to place your child for adoption.
Finding the Family
What many people don’t realize is that adoption is never a double-blind process — in fact, in most cases the birthmom has all the control in choosing her child’s adoptive family. You will be able to tell your adoption agency what is most important to you when it comes to who will raise your child. For example, if you desire someone with deep local roots, a similar ethnic background to yourself, or a family that shares your lifestyle or religious beliefs, these are all things you can look for in an adoptive family.
Once you have found a family you like based on their profile, you’ll have the chance to meet with them, often by speaking on the phone first and then meeting them in person. The choice of whether to move forward with them as your child’s adoptive family is all yours.
The Type of Adoption
There are three main types of adoption that you will have to choose from. While you can have the adoption type as a condition to going through with the adoption with a specific family, it is important that both you and the adoptive family agree to the terms on the type of adoption.
- Closed: A closed adoption is much like what it sounds like — a closed door. There will be no contact between you and the child or the adoptive family.
- Semi-Open: In a semi-open adoption, you may receive periodic updates from the adoptive family about your child. This is often done as an email, sometimes passed through an adoption agency or adoption lawyer.
- Open Adoption: The most common type, open adoptions mean that you’re able to keep in contact with the adoptive family. You and the adoptive family can find a communication plan that works best for you, and in many cases you can even see the child in person from time to time.
While those are some of the big decisions you’ll be facing, there are other options you’ll have to consider as well — such as how you’d like to communicate with the adoptive family during the pregnancy and how you’d like to handle your birth plan. Thankfully, a good adoption agency can help explain your options to you without any pressure so that you can figure out what works best for you. Having your options lined out in an adoption plan can help you feel more confident and secure in the choices you’ve made.