Telling Your Family About Your Unplanned Pregnancy

Talking to your family about an unplanned pregnancy

Finding out unexpectedly that you are pregnant can be an earth-shattering moment, leaving you overwhelmed with emotions, fear, and stress. You can be left struggling to figure out what to do and what is the best choice for you and your unborn baby. You may feel ready and up for the challenge of motherhood, even if the pregnancy has occurred at an inopportune moment.

On the other hand, however, you may know that at this time, you aren’t ready to be a mother or simply are not in the right circumstances to properly raise a child. You may then decide that placing your child for adoption is the best choice. Your mind might even be bouncing back and forth between various options.

An unplanned pregnancy should never be something that any woman should deal with alone. A strong support system is key to help you with the many stresses, pressures, and challenges of pregnancy. Having a kind ear to listen or just someone to give you a hug can be instrumental in helping a mother to make the right decision in regards to their baby.

Because of feelings of embarrassment or shame, however, many women dread telling their friends or family their news. They dread being met with anger or disappointing loved ones. While sadly in some cases this is true, many families are able to quickly get over their shock and rally around the mother, uplifting and supporting her. Let’s take a closer look at the best way to let your friends and family know that you’re expecting.

Find the Right Time

Choosing the right time to tell your loved ones can help ensure the overall reaction is more positive. It is understandable for friends and family to be concerned, confused, or even angry at first. So, it is important to choose a time when there are no pre-existing stresses. Depending on the dynamics of your family, it may be better to break the news one-on-one or in small groups. You may feel better with a close friend by your side for support.

Give them Time to Process Things

Reflect back on when you first found out that you were pregnant. Remember how you felt at first: the shock, the fear, the rush of emotions. As time went by, you probably calmed down a lot and were able to think through your options rationally and get used to the idea of pregnancy. Your family will go through the same feelings when you first break the news, so you may need to give them time to process the announcement and come around to the idea.

Prepare Yourself

It is important to know that you never have to make a final decision regarding adoption until your baby is born. However, you should consider a tentative plan to help ease any fears or anxiety about the pregnancy or the birth. Having a plan will also help to ease minds when you announce your pregnancy.

Be Safe

If you have a friend or family member that has a history of violence or irrational responses, then you’ll need to make sure that you keep you and your baby safe. Think about bringing a friend with you to break the news or telling them in a public place. You don’t even need to tell them if they won’t be directly involved. The decision is up to you. Don’t feel that you have to associate with anyone who makes you feel unsafe or uncomfortable.

If you feel unable to involve your family in your pregnancy, then it is important that you find support somewhere else, such as through a support group or mentor. Having someone around to help you and support you through your pregnancy will make your journey much more smooth.

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Angel Adoption, Inc. provides marketing and advertising services that assist biological parents considering adoption and prospective adoptive parents to connect with each other, and provides support and referral services throughout the process. Angel Adoption, Inc. is an independent contractor and provides services under the supervision of Lutheran Child and Family Services of Illinois, License #012998, One Oakbrook Terrace, #501, Oakbrook Terrace, IL 60181; 708-771-7180.