Birthmother Adoption Plans: What to Expect

Baby holding adoptive parents finger

All of us know that in life, doing something is completely different from theorizing something. Think about when you took your driving test, for example: the written test, though covering essential points on safety and road laws, simply doesn’t compare to your driving exam. The same can said for making an adoption plan as an expectant mother. 

Birthmoms may have read countless articles on the hows and whats, but when it comes to forming the adoption plan, many simply aren’t prepared for the realities and the barrage of emotions felt. That’s where this article comes in. We’re going to look at some of the feelings birthmoms tend to experience when creating their adoption plan to help you to understand what it’s actually like to create one, not just the basic steps or requirements. 

  • Sadness
    Adoption is a time of loss, even if it is for the most beautiful and selfless reasons. The thought of saying goodbye to a life you’ve grown inside you can bring on great sadness that you need to try to prepare for.
  • Excitement
    The joy of having your baby after months of carrying them is exciting, especially as the due date looms. It’s important to remember that feelings of excitement are natural, and it does not mean that you’re feeling gleeful over placing your child for adoption, and instead you’re simply going through the experiences of any mother. 
  • Anger
    You’ll likely have a moment when writing your adoption plan where you’ll feel angry, especially if your reasons for placing your child are outside your control. Feeling resentful or frustrated is also common.
  • Guilt
    Placing a child for adoption can bring feelings of guilt. It is important to remember that you haven’t let anyone down, and instead, you’re doing something incredible: giving the gift of a child to parents who might not be able to have one of their own. 
  • Shame
    You may feel ashamed that for whatever reason you aren’t able to raise your child. You may find you need to hold your head up high when those around you react negatively towards you and your decision.
  • Fear
    Moments of fear, especially if this is your first pregnancy, are completely natural. Add in the unknowns of adoption too, and you may find that forming your adoption plan makes you feel anxious or frightened.
  • Regret
    Adoption is a big decision, and like all other big decisions, the fear of regret is likely to surface. Remember that you don’t have to make a final decision until after the baby is born and that when writing your adoption plan you’re not making a binding commitment. 
  • Hope
    Many of the feelings birthmoms experience when writing their adoption plan are negative. However, in even the darkest of times, hope flourishes. Many birth moms feel empowered knowing that they are making the right decision for their baby, as well as knowing that the baby will be raised in the most loving and most nourishing environment. Birthmoms planning for open adoption can also find hope in the fact they’ll still be present in the life of their child. 
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Angel Adoption, Inc. provides marketing and advertising services that assist biological parents considering adoption and prospective adoptive parents to connect with each other, and provides support and referral services throughout the process. Angel Adoption, Inc. is an independent contractor and provides services under the supervision of Lutheran Child and Family Services of Illinois, License #012998, One Oakbrook Terrace, #501, Oakbrook Terrace, IL 60181; 708-771-7180.