How It All Began...
Finding Our Way to Fatherhood
We always knew children would be part of our future, and when we were ready to start family planning, we considered both adoption and surrogacy. Ultimately, adoption felt like a better fit for us, and we started to look for the right partnership.
We found Angel through our own research but also had a mutual friend who had previously adopted through them. We loved being able to sit down in the offices and meet with them in person to learn about their program and process.
Choosing to move forward with Angel’s program was an emotional rollercoaster. We were so excited but also so nervous. We had the full encouragement of our close friends and family behind us, which was incredible because we knew they were ready to support us through the highs and lows.
The Right One
Prior to our connection with our son’s birthmother, we had a number of opportunities presented to us that did not result in a successful adoption. We went as far as meeting an expectant mother, her mom, and her grandmother one time, but she ultimately chose to parent. Each disrupted opportunity hurt, but we knew we had to continue to move forward and that the right one was out there.
When we did receive what would be our final opportunity call from Angel, we were optimistic but cautious—we had been down this road before. It was shared with us that an expectant mother early in her pregnancy had chosen us and wanted to start communicating. We knew that if our initial conversations went well, we had a long road ahead of us given how early in her pregnancy she was, but we were open to it. We started with text messages and moved to phone calls as everyone became more comfortable. The expectant mother was so careful with our feelings; she really wanted us to be reassured that she knew this was the best choice. We appreciated her care but also knew we needed to provide her with the same care back, we wanted her to know that we were here to support her through this journey.
In the expectant mother’s second trimester, we were able to take a day trip to meet her, the expectant father, and their son. While we waited in the hotel lobby for them, it felt a bit like a blind date. We had spoken with her a number of times, but meeting in person felt so different. Her son warmed up to us quickly, and it was a great ice breaker for everyone.
Though we only met with her once in person prior to delivery, through the duration of her pregnancy, we continued to support her. We were able to receive ultrasound photos and found out she was having a boy. We were able to start readying our house for a baby and were finally able to make travel arrangements once her C-section was scheduled.
The Honor of a Lifetime
The night prior to the delivery, we were able to take the expectant mother, the expectant father, and their son out to dinner. It was incredibly comforting to spend that evening together knowing the next day our lives were going to change. That night we slept very little as we were filled with nerves and excitement.
The expectant mother had asked that Gregg be in the operating room with her given his medical background and her nervousness around the C-section. He was incredibly honored to support her through such an intimate procedure. Thankfully, Shea was also able to be a part of the C-section process, and we were so proud to welcome our son, Grayson, into the world.
Shortly after Grayson’s birth, the hospital provided us with our own room, and we spent the next couple days sharing time between our room and his birthmother’s. She chose to hold Grayson only once, but we continued to make sure she knew she was welcome to spend more time with him if she wished.
After we were discharged from the hospital, we were able to meet Grayson’s birthmother for breakfast one morning and spend some additional time with her. We really value the time that we had in person with Grayson’s birthmother as we have not seen her since his birth. We have had some sporadic communication with her, and we are connected through social media as well. We have always wanted to provide her with the support she needs and continue to look forward to the times when we do speak.
The Best Roller Coaster
Reflecting back on our adoption journey, we are able to recognize we should have lowered our expectations and trusted ourselves more. There is little control during the adoption process, and trying to control every part of it can make the journey much more stressful
We knew that when the opportunity meant for us happened, it would happen, and we had to allow that to occur organically. Although there were difficult moments, our journey to Grayson was the best roller coaster ride ever, and we would do it all again if it meant adopting him.