Our Adoption Story
How it all began...
From Infertility to Parenthood
For some, having a biological child is as easy as breathing, but for others, it is quite literally impossible, despite their dreams and desires. When we got married, we were excited to start a family, only to find out it was going to be a long road for us. Because of Elisabeth’s endometriosis, we had to resort to IVF to attempt to have our own children. Over the course of four years, we embarked on a journey to treat her endometriosis while having four rounds of IVF. We often commuted three hours each way for the treatments. When we exhausted all of our options to have a baby even with donor eggs, we decided adoption was our destiny.
When we began our adoption journey, we were emotionally spent. Our fertility journey took every ounce of emotional energy from us. We were grieving over the dream of having a biological child, so we were cautiously optimistic. We didn’t want to be disappointed again and again.
Finding the Right Partner
We found Angel through social media. We looked at other partners but just couldn’t find one we felt connected to. But with Angel, from the first consultation, they were invested in helping us find a good connection with a birthmother. They made us feel supported, and we knew we had found our partner in our adoption journey.
In the beginning of our journey, we had issues with the lawyers. Angel told us the problems, but they also had solutions for us. Within days, the issues were already taken care of. They cared enough to be considerate of our feelings. At that point, we wanted to be focused on the birthmother and the adoption, and they helped us with that.
The Right Connection
Connecting with an expectant mother for the first time felt wonderful. We exchanged texts and phone calls, and she kept us up to date with doctor’s visits. Going through her pregnancy with her, we bonded over ultrasound photos and the little details of her pregnancy with her. We felt a kind of solace at knowing we were all “pregnant” together.
Through being there for her, we knew this somehow would work out. At some point, we visited her and met people she was close to. Then she came to see us and where we lived and met members of our family. We slowly got to know each other and established a strong bond.
Three weeks before her due date, she called us to say it was time. We weren’t expecting it, but we were pumped. We immediately got into the car and started to drive. We communicated with her sister, who was at the delivery for updates.
When we finally arrived at the hospital, Elisabeth was the first one to go in and see her. The moment when Elisabeth met Everly and her birthmother will probably be imprinted in her memory forever. It was beyond special. Seeing Everly, there was a kind of connection that transcends any words. Elisabeth felt the forever connection to Everly’s birthmother and vice versa.
The Waiting and a Miracle
The following days were filled with diaper changes and phone calls to lawyers. We stayed at a hotel and waited for everything to be finalized. Each day, Everly’s birthmother came to visit us. We bonded with her and our baby. Each time, she reassured us she was making the right decision. We knew Everly was the one.
When the paperwork was finalized, there were no fireworks. We simply felt validated. Our faith paid off. Even after so many years of failed fertility treatments, we were able to bring our child home. This is some kind of miracle.
Letting Go but Keeping Faith
The truth is that you go into it thinking you may have some control over the process, but after the connection is made, there really is very little control you can have over the situation. We are fortunate to have dealt with the emotional ups and downs of our fertility treatments and know trust is the only way to go. Even when everything seems to go wrong, there’s always a way. Don’t get caught up in the little things. They don’t matter.
We are grateful to have Everly in our lives and for this wonderful adoption experience, the people who helped us, Angel, the lawyers, the social workers, and the birthmother, who reaffirmed our faith and helped us heal some of the emotional baggage we carried into this process.