How it all began...
Our First Choice
We were always going to adopt. Since Craig was adopted at birth, it’s something we knew would be a part of our lives. It impacted Craig’s life so positively, and we knew we could provide that for someone else. Once we really started discussing the growth of our family, adoption was our first choice. There was no hesitation or question. We were ready for our journey to begin!
We kept finding that larger agencies had waitlists for adoptive families that could take years. When we found Angel Adoption, we just loved the vibes! The website caught our attention, and we appreciated how inclusive they were. The high placement rate definitely got us excited as well!
We understood Angel was not a fully licensed agency and that it could still take years to adopt, but we felt confident this was the path for us. We loved the marketing Angel did for us. We enjoyed having a little more control over our own adoption journey compared to contracting with a big agency right off the bat. With our own research and efforts, we were able to a la carte a lot of the adoption services during our adoption process.
Putting It All Out There
Adoption is a roller coaster ride, but we were buckled up and ready to go! Once our profile was live, we felt like we had put it all out there and couldn’t control anything else at that point. We were both able to stay busy with work and other obligations that helped distract us from the waiting. Our local home study agency also offered a lot of educational opportunities and support groups, so we utilized those as much as possible!
We were really excited about making a video for our profile! We did it over Christmas Break and highly recommend it to other waiting families. We filmed our loved ones sharing what kind of parents they thought we would be. We enjoyed that process, and the final outcome was very meaningful. Ironically, we were chosen by an expectant mother shortly after our video went live, but she actually never even watched it! That just goes to show that what is meant to be will happen at the right time.
Getting to Know Each Other
Marsha got the initial call from Angel while driving, so she obviously had to pull over to answer the phone! We were excited and couldn’t wait to reach out to the expectant mother who was interested in us. We started with texting and felt some worries about what to say. We shared our fear with her up front, and she had similar fears. It was a relief to get that out in the open, and we all felt more comfortable moving forward.
We’ll be honest; it was the most awkward “blind date” ever! But we just rolled with it. We never asked her anything intrusive, and she ended up sharing a lot of details about herself that we were happy to learn. We just wanted to get to know her!
Growing More Comfortable
Since we lived in the same state, we were able to meet in person a couple of times before her due date. The first time we met, we were racing against a major snowstorm headed our way. We ended up leaving at two in the morning so we could meet her for breakfast! It was worth it. She shared ultrasound pictures with us, and our comfort with each other continued to grow.
We were an important support system for the expectant mother. The only other person she really had who was supportive of her adoption plan was her own mother. We were happy to be in that role and provided all of the support and reassurance she needed during her journey.
She had a scheduled C-section, so we were able to drive up a day early and spent time with her and her mom the night before Theo was born. At the time, we didn’t know if the baby was a boy or a girl. It was an amazing surprise for us. The expectant mother told us later on that she always felt it was a boy.
Love at First Sight
The expectant mother’s mom was in the operating room with her, and as soon as the C-section was completed, we were handed a wrapped up bundle. We were holding this baby, and we still didn’t know if it was a boy or a girl! It was just a few minutes that we stood there holding him, but it felt like time had stopped. As soon as they handed him to us, everything felt absolutely right. It was love at first sight.
We were discharged from the hospital in less than 48 hours. We couldn’t believe the hospital was just going to let us leave with this baby! It was a surreal experience to say the least. We wanted to make sure his birthmother got to spend time with him before we left, so she and her mother spent some alone time together with Theo.
We were lucky to be able to bring him home right away since we lived in the same state. However, the revocation period was tough. We wanted to be as emotionally present as we could during that time, but we can’t lie; it wasn’t easy. There were still unknowns even though we felt confident in our connection with his birthmother. You just never know what can happen.
When it came time to terminate her parental rights, she asked us to be there, which we were happy to do. Afterward, we had a family gathering at her house. Recently she came to visit us for Theo’s second birthday with his biological sibling! She was comfortable meeting our friends and family, which was so special for us.
We maintain daily communication with Theo’s birthmother, and half the time, we aren’t even talking about him or the adoption. She has expressed to us that adoption saved her life. She has accomplished so many amazing things since going through her adoption journey. The fact that we get to share those moments with her means everything to us. We are so proud of her and look forward to our future together.
Our main piece of advice to other families is: Do your research! Educate and empower yourself as you embark on your adoption journey. You don’t have to wait for someone else to share information or advice with you. Go out and find it! Be in charge of your adoption journey. Utilize all of the resources and support people at your disposal. There is never too much to learn about adoption.