How it all began...
Long Wait, Perfect Timing
We always wanted to adopt a baby. Along with having biological children, we knew we’d follow through with our dream of being adoptive parents as well. When our son was 12 months old, we started to research adoption.
We quickly found Angel and were attracted to the fact that they worked across state lines. Compared to someone locally, we felt they had more connections around the U.S. to help us realize our dream.
In the beginning, we were nervous and had expectations that the adoption would only take one year (even though everyone told us not to expect that timeline). We wanted our children to be close in age. We thought by planning for it, we would have a chance at making it happen. But really, we had little control over the journey. We had to take things one step at a time.
The Long Wait
It turned out our journey wasn’t what we expected. We waited for almost 24 months before we were connected with an expectant mother. About nine months prior to being chosen, we lost it emotionally. Two of our friends had babies that day, and we had honestly thought we would have a child by that date because it was 15 months into our adoption journey. At that time, we were also preparing to move to a new state, and Angel told us we’d have to put the adoption on hold until we could update our home study.
Anna Mary just lost it. She couldn’t believe that after all of that waiting, we’d basically have to begin again. But our adoption coordinator at Angel was very reassuring and reminded us this was just the middle of our journey.
It was so hard for Anna Mary to be patient. Anna Mary’s mother gave her a religious medal that her grandmother had used to pray to daily, so that’s what she did; she prayed every day while holding the medal. She prayed through her anxiety.
Connected at Last
One day, out of the blue, close to the 24-month mark, Angel called us. We were connected with an expectant mother! We hadn’t put much detail of where we were from in our profile, but someone from not just the state but the city we were originally from contacted us. We felt like it was a miracle, and we cried from happiness.
She was going to deliver in eight weeks. We couldn’t wait. We started to text her regularly and wanted to get to know her as much as possible in case this was the only contact we ever had with her. Toward the last month of her pregnancy, she was giving us a lot of information in her texts. Because of the connection we developed, she leaned on us for emotional support, which we were so happy to provide.
When we finally met her and our son’s birthfather the night before delivery, we felt very close to her. She ended up delivering in the same hospital that our biological son was born in. Anna Mary was able to be in the operating room for the scheduled C-section.
It was like a dream come true when Deacon finally made his appearance. It was amazing to see our baby. Holding him was surreal. We felt like we had an out-of-body experience.
Processing the Loss
After the delivery, we were worried about Deacon’s birthmother. She had just lost her dad two days before our son’s birth. We knew she was in shock from the loss as well as the delivery, and we tried to provide as much support as she needed.
Since then, because we have an open adoption, we have seen our son’s birthparents three times. We are glad we could be a part of their healing process. She told us it took about a year for her to process the loss of her father and the adoption, but she’s in a better place both emotionally and physically now. We are so glad to see her recovered and feeling stronger.
Our family Is Whole
We have the family we always wanted. Despite the age difference, our four-year-old son was so happy when Deacon came home. They are so close now. When we watch their interactions or hear them giggling together, we feel so blessed.
The one thing we found indispensable through our process was talking to other adoptive parents regardless of what their journey looked like (domestic/international, private/public, etc). Don’t try to go it alone. Get stories and advice from parents who’ve been through it. It helps so much. Sometimes, when you lose all patience, you are just so reassured by other parents’ stories. Keep your faith and get connected with as many people who can help as you can.