After finding out you are pregnant, you are likely flooded with overwhelming emotions, fears, and stress. Perhaps you are debating what the best choice is for you and your unborn baby. You may be contemplating the idea of taking on the exciting and self-sacrificing life of motherhood. On the other hand, you could be considering that you are not ready for this boundless life change and would prefer to give the gift of life to another family through adoption. In this case, it is normal for your mind to bounce back and forth between the two thoughts. Both choices are heroic, and it is a very personal decision.
An unplanned pregnancy is not something that you should endure alone. Having a faithful support system is key in helping you get through the pressures and challenges of pregnancy. It is also advantageous to just have someone to listen to you sort through everything. Many women dread telling their family (or friends) because they feel embarrassed or do not want to disappoint family members. They fear that their family may react with anger or judgement. In some families, this may be accurate, but in most cases, that sort of response is temporary and is worth it when you have the support of your loved ones.
Finding the Right Time
The best time to tell your family is not at a holiday gathering. This news will likely elicit a stress response at first, so choose a time where additional stressors are not already present. It will be easiest to discuss the news when you are in a small group, perhaps even one on one depending on the dynamics of your family. If you feel more comfortable, bring a close friend with you to stand by your side and give your courage.
Give Them Time to Internalize the Information
Think about when your first learned you were pregnant. How did you feel initially? Likely, you felt shock, fear, and maybe even a little upset. As time went by, you got used to the idea, and realized that even though it was an unplanned pregnancy, life is now growing inside of you. Remember that your family will likely feel shocked and fearful at first, just as you did. They may need time to sort through their own emotions.
You do not have to make your final decision between raising your child or adoption until after the baby is born. However, having a tentative plan in place can ease your fears and anxiety about your unplanned pregnancy. It could also help ease the tension when delivering the news to your family.
Protect Yourself and Your Baby
If you have a parent or family member with a history of violence and irrational responses, be sure to protect yourself and you baby. You could bring a friend with you, tell them in a public place, or even avoid telling them altogether. It is your decision whether you want to tell a family member. Do not associate with anyone that is unsafe for you or your baby and do not let anyone demand that you make a specific decision regarding the future of your child. Becoming a mother or offering life to another family is a private and courageous decision that another person cannot make for you or pressure you into making.
If you decide not to get a family member involved, it is essential that you find support elsewhere. Join a support group or find a mentor through adoption services programs or church programs to help you through your journey. The kind and supportive staff at Angel Adoption is available 24/7 to speak with women facing an unplanned pregnancy. We are here to listen and help you make the decision that is best for you and your baby. Call us anytime at 888-378-1112, or click here to get free information now.