Depending on the age of the child, many parents choose not to discuss the topic of adoption for fear of unleashing an overwhelming amount of emotions and questions. However, there are some parents who want to discuss the topic of adoption with their children as a means to further develop a transparent relationship. Discussing the adoption openly is generally what is recommended by experts as the healthiest decision, as well.
Deciding to take this route is rife with questions regarding how and when to reveal this information. If you’re one of the parents who wants to open up the doors of communication and discuss adoption, check out these five tips that will make the process easier.
Choose the Right Time
Timing is everything when it comes to delivering sensitive information. If you’ve made the decision to tell your child about their past, you want to make sure you’re telling them at the best time possible.
Telling them before an important event, holiday, or milestone may do more harm than good, especially if the child has no clue. Wait to tell them when you know they are mentally and physically able to process the information.
Show Your Love
It’s imperative that you emphasize your unconditional love for the child. After revealing their past, the child may feel like an outcast, especially if there are biological children in the household. Let them know about much you care and love them unconditionally. This will make the conversation go smoothly and help them understand their unwavering place in your family.
Your child may be curious about their biological parents. This may prompt them to go looking for their biological family. Don’t discourage this or take offense. The child just received powerful information regarding their background. It’s only natural for them to want to seek a deeper understanding.
In addition, don’t feel offended if your child wants to know their biological family. This doesn’t mean they don’t love or need you. They simply want to learn more about their past.
If your child is mentally mature, don’t hold back any information regarding their biological parents; both good and bad. Being transparent will gain your child’s trust and help them understand their background. Withholding information could only make your child insecure.
Give Them Time to Process
This is some heavy information. Therefore, give your child time to process what you told them. Perhaps they need space or time to understand their newfound lot in life. Give them the opportunity to grow with the information given.
In addition, offer your unwavering support. Let them know that you are there for them regardless of their response. This will give them the time and space needed to navigate this information.
By implementing these five tips, you’ll have the information needed to have an open and honest discussion. It is our hope that by having this conversation, you’ll strengthen the relationship between you and your children.