How it All Began...
You Never Know Until You Try
Due to medical reasons, we always knew we wanted to create our family through adoption, so when we got married, we prepared ourselves for the adoption process right away. But after several years of partnering with a local agency to help us realize our dream of having a family, it didn’t work out. We were so disappointed and discouraged.
This was when we decided to look for a partner like Angel. Our experiences told us we didn’t want to feel like the least important party in the adoption process. We wanted to partner with people who truly understood they were helping to connect birthmothers to adoptive parents. After reading the promotional materials and talking with the staff at Angel, we knew why they had a high success rate. We immediately felt supported and encouraged.
Moments of Doubt
In the beginning, like with any new connection, there were moments of doubt. When we connected to an expectant mother, both the expectant mother and we had doubts whether it was going to work out. The staff at Angel kept us in the loop when we were waiting for a connection. They also made us feel cared for when we had doubts.
When we connected, we didn’t expect her to go back and forth, changing her plans as much as she did. She would say it was the best thing for her family. She would text for a few days, and then we would not hear anything for a few weeks. We could see much of the back and forth she was experiencing was due to the emotions she was experiencing, but it was still nerve racking.
When we went to meet her for the first time, we felt we got to know her well. It was strange meeting the woman who was going to give us the most amazing gift anyone could receive. We did not want to say anything wrong but wanted to express the love and life we would give her child. She told us later that at our first meeting, she became sure she would go through with the adoption. The meeting was the deciding factor for her. Needless to say, we were very nervous going into the meeting, but we were glad she was able to come to a decision.
The expectant mother had a scheduled C-section. We planned to be there at the birth, but she changed her mind about letting us into the delivery room one week before. We were distraught. We thought she had changed her mind about the adoption. We had dinner with her two days before she was scheduled to deliver. When we asked her about whether she wanted us at the hospital, she told us she still wanted us to be there. She also asked Jill to stay with her afterward. We felt some relief when she told us that.
Holding on to Hope
On the day of the scheduled C-section, we waited in the waiting room. Afterward, the nurses called us out and let us hold Stella in the hallway. It was the most amazing feeling to hold our daughter for the first time. They closed the nursery down for us to spend time with her. They were extremely kind to us.
When we left the hospital to drive back home, for the first time, both of us felt a tremendous sense of responsibility. We stopped almost five times before we really got going on the highway just to frantically check if she was okay in the backseat. We were finally parents. The nerves, anticipation, tiredness and love were all in the car that day.
The Ultimate Test
The hardest thing is the waiting as your emotions will run rampant through this process. No matter how you manage your emotions, there are times when it’s simply tough. It’s hard to not feel disappointed if a connection doesn’t work out.
Our marriage has been tested thoroughly throughout this adoption process. We firmly believe if your marriage can survive adoption, your marriage can get through anything. Chances are the process will make your relationship stronger no matter what happens.
In our case, we are grateful it worked out. We are looking forward to adding new members to our family in the days to come.