How it all began...
When we decided to start a family, we met infertility issues. Adoption was always in the back of our minds, so that seemed like a natural transition. We needed to shift our perspective to how we were going to become parents. We adopted our first child through a different agency, and it was a good experience. We were open to other options, and Matt came across Angel Adoption. We were able to talk with multiple families who had adopted successfully through Angel, and they all had great experiences. We read reviews as well, and they all seemed to be families having great experiences.
When you start your adoption journey, there are a lot of fears, and not having support is a big one. Shannon’s sister was supportive, but her mother was not. She wanted us to try IVF and any other means to have a biological child. The lack of support was caused by fear that she might not feel the same way about our adopted children as she did about Shannon’s sister’s biological children. Our children are actually the favorites, so biology does not matter. Either way, we did not let that stop us from pursuing adoption, and we are so glad we went with what was right for our family.
A Long Road
Going into our second adoption journey, we were now busy raising our daughter, who was about four years old. Knowing that no matter how this turned out we were still parents to our beautiful daughter took a lot of pressure off. We were still nervous and fearful of everything not working out but less anxious. We also did not know how to explain to our daughter that we might be adding to our family but we might not. This was a true leap of faith, but we were excited.
Shortly after we joined, we received our first opportunity. Communication was great, and we got to know her for about two months. The birthfather was also involved but wanted to abort the pregnancy and did not know much about adoption. A nurse at the clinic gave them an Angel Adoption card. When they reached out and were looking through families, they felt a sense of peace when they looked at our profile. The expectant mother said she knew the child would be so loved and have a great home with us.
The expectant mother invited us down to visit her and her family, which we felt was such a big step. When we arrived, we went to dinner and quickly realized the expectant mother was not at all sure of what she wanted. The expectant mother’s mom started to cry and told us she really wanted her daughter to keep the baby and was not supportive of adoption. It was awkward for us, but we were also glad they were being so honest about how they were feeling.
Ultimately they decided to keep the child, and although we were sad, we were happy for them. We felt disappointed for us but glad she was making a decision she felt was best for her and the baby. We understood this was not the baby meant for us, and a small part of us felt we helped her make that decision.
After our first opportunity did not work out, we experienced a long stretch with no opportunities. We knew this could happen, but it was still discouraging. It was a year before we would get chosen again, and that was one of the longest years of our lives. We tried our best to stay busy with our careers, raising our daughter, and enjoying life for what it currently was.
Our Forever Opportunity
We had been talking and getting to know the expectant mother very well. We would talk weekly, but then communication slowed down. We started to wonder if this meant she had changed her mind about adoption. After our experience with our first adoption, we were prepared if this was the case. We then received a text saying she was in labor! We had talked about what would happen at the hospital, and initially the expectant mother wanted the nurses to hand the baby to us. We were unable to get to the hospital in time since her labor went quickly, so she was able to spend time with Asher when he was born.
Our daughter, who was five by that time, came with us, and we were able to meet Asher and his birthmother for the first time together as a family. It was a special moment we can cherish forever. She was so sweet and told us how thankful she was that she could give us this gift. Asher is also very sweet, and we believe he gets that from her. When we arrived home with Asher, she contacted us to make sure we were settling in.
We have a closed adoption with Asher’s birthmother, but she has reached out a few times to check in and ask for pictures. We are open to whatever she wants, and we have always made that clear. She does not want Asher to know who she is, and we have always respected that. However, we will make sure he knows he was so loved and that led him to us. We are forever grateful and amazed at the sacrifice and gift she gave to us, and Asher makes our family complete.