How it all began...
Ready to Start Our Journey
We met more than 10 years ago and took the time to focus on our careers, travel and relationship before opening our life to the possibility of children. We always knew we wanted a family, and knew adoption was the path we wanted to pursue.
Our employer offered adoption benefits, and through their help, Angel was referred. We felt so comfortable once we talked with Angel staff, and we loved what Angel Adoption stood for. We had spent so much time researching and learning, so once it was time to start our journey, we were so hopeful. Our support system was simply the best and would learn along with us on our journey. It was exciting to dream of all the possibilities that would come with being dads.
Slow and Steady
Our journey started out slow and quiet, which was somewhat discouraging because we hoped for more interest. It took about a year before we had an opportunity. We loved building a relationship with her, and things had progressed so nicely up until about two weeks before she gave birth when she decided to place with a family member. We were devastated, but we respected her decision.
Emotionally, it hurt, and our family became protective of us because they did not want to see us get hurt again. But, as we navigated through that part of our journey, there was so much emotional growth that happened. We became stronger as a couple and more understanding. As a result, we were much more prepared when Miles came into our lives.
Toward the two-year mark, we started to lose some hope. We were worried about what would happen if we got to the end of our journey without a placement. Angel Adoption staff gave us a complimentary extension, and just a few weeks into that extension, we were chosen. We hoped this was the one.
The expectant mother only had five weeks left of her pregnancy, and we knew she was going to have a C-section. She had limited prenatal care and following our connection went for an appointment. During that appointment, we found out she was further along than we originally thought. The doctor wanted to perform the C-section the next day! We were so excited and had to act quickly. Finally it seemed like everything was falling into place.
We had a day to get to where the expectant mother was, so we hopped in the car and drove! We were only a state away, but our excitement made the drive feel like it took forever. Arriving at the hospital, many thoughts were racing through our heads because there were so many outcomes and possibilities. We knew, however, we were ready for this emotionally, mentally, and physically!
When we laid eyes on Miles for the first time, knowing this was our child, he became everything we lived for. We were overwhelmed with the amount of kindness from the birthmother and her willingness to allow Miles to be brought to us right away after the C-section.
Through our weeks of communication, we had built an amazing relationship with the birthmother. We were able to connect with her after the birth so she could meet Miles and spend time with him. We also met her mother and spent time getting to know their family.
We knew the day Miles was born that we wanted to build a stronger relationship with his birthmother. We talked about communicating more than we initially agreed on, and it has been nice to have a wonderful relationship. We update each other often, and message about once a week. She has three other children, and sharing moments with each other has been such a joy.
A huge thanks goes to the hospital staff - they were amazing, and the experience was something we could not have imagined. They embraced our family and cared for us in the first few hours as we became new parents.
Worth the Wait
Every day we waited for Miles was worth it. Reflecting on our journey, we learned so much. Here is the advice we would share with other adoptive parents:Keep organized, and be on top of everything! Lean in on Angel, they’re here to help, especially in building relationships with social workers and service providers that know the various state laws.
Be open minded to the whole process and give yourself grace, it’s going to be emotional at times. It was helpful for us to talk to mental health professionals throughout the journey to ensure we were being thoughtful of our own emotions and our relationship so we could be the supportive adoptive family we wanted to be.
Be open to everything from the beginning as much as you can. We opened ourselves up slowly as we became more comfortable, allowing for more connections.
Listen to your social worker and coordinator. You can’t create your own vision of what your journey will look like; you have to succumb to the crazy ride.
Ask a lot of questions, and do a lot of research and be prepared for the unexpected. In the end, every situation is different and you’ll learn a lot about yourself on your journey.
Lastly, build a strong, supportive and diverse network. We leaned on them a lot and in sharing our story, we learned so many people in our lives were involved in adoption or looking into adoption.
In the end, we cannot put into words what Miles, his birthmother, and our experience mean to us. We are blessed, and Miles was worth the wait!