How it all began...
Our journey toward adoption began as a response to our struggles with infertility. We had been trying to have biological children for three long years. As we faced the challenges and disappointments of this difficult journey, we decided to explore alternative paths to parenthood. Three of Lauren’s cousins and one of Adam’s best friends were all adopted, and the profound impact these experiences had on our lives led us to believe adoption was the right path for us. We were motivated by our desire to become parents and knew the biological connection was not the only way to nurture a child's life with love and care.
Choosing Angel Adoption
When we embarked on this journey, we chose Angel Adoption as our agency. Our decision was influenced by the fact that Angel Adoption was local to us. We wanted a close connection with our adoption agency, which was especially important for first-time adopters like us. We initially met with Liz in person, which allowed us to form a strong bond. While the COVID-19 pandemic shifted our interactions into a more virtual space, the knowledge that we had local support remained reassuring.
The Emotional Rollercoaster
Starting our adoption journey was a blend of nervousness and impatience. Three years of struggling with infertility had left us anxious and eager to become parents. Our determination to provide a loving home for a child overcame our anxiety. The prospect of adoption was met with excitement and apprehension, as we were not entirely sure what to expect.
Our friends and family were nothing but supportive of our decision to adopt. Our immediate circle had a close connection to adoption, with some family members and friends having personal experiences in this regard. Their shared enthusiasm and encouragement only strengthened our resolve to embrace the adoption journey wholeheartedly.
Meeting the Birthmother
We didn’t meet our daughter’s birthmother until our daughter's birth. While we had maintained sporadic text contact for about four months before the birth, we had not formed a deep connection. Meeting her in the hospital felt a bit awkward. Our initial conversations were short and sweet as we navigated through the delicate circumstances. She held our daughter, and we shared our gratitude for her decision. It was the beginning of a connection we aimed to nurture in the future.
We wanted an open adoption, while the birthmother preferred a semi-open arrangement. Our choice was based on extensive research, highlighting that open adoptions are often the best approach for the child's well-being. We are committed to providing the best life for our daughter and believe open communication with her birthmother will offer her valuable insights into her background. We send monthly updates and maintain contact, allowing our daughter to have a relationship with her birthmother as she grows.
Challenges Along the Way
The most significant challenges during our adoption journey were the waiting period and the lack of clear answers. The uncertainty of not knowing when a birthmother would choose us was often trying. We longed for concrete answers as to why we were not chosen earlier. While we wanted to do more, we came to realize that sometimes there are no definite explanations.
The wait was indeed lengthy for us. We signed with Angel Adoption in April 2020, shortly before the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic. The adoption process culminated with the arrival of our daughter in February 2023. Throughout this time, leaning on each other was vital. We also invested in our relationship, enjoyed dates, focused on our hobbies, and traveled. These experiences not only strengthened our bond but also allowed us to maintain a sense of calm.
Lean into your partner while navigating adoption. Your partner is your strongest support during the adoption journey, so share your thoughts, fears, and dreams with them. Together, you can weather the waiting period and create an even stronger foundation for your family.
Get comfortable with the unknown since adoption involves many variables that can be challenging to predict. Understand that a birthmother's choice is not a reflection of your worthiness as parents. Stay confident in your role as loving parents, knowing that the right match will come at the right time.
Our journey was marked by patience, uncertainty, and unwavering determination to become parents. In the end, the challenges were surpassed by the incredible love and joy our daughter brings to our lives. Our adoption journey has been a testament to the power of love and resilience and the beauty of creating a family through adoption.