How it All Began...
How did you decide to adopt?
We went through in vitro and we just really felt like that wasn’t where God was leading us to. We discussed it and decided instead of continuing with in vitro we would grow our family through adoption.
What made you choose Angel Adoption?
Well the biggest one - we’re in Louisiana and my husband is in the airforce. Angel Adoption ended up being 20 minutes from his parents’ house. So that combined with how they did things - marketing us as parents and such, I liked the approach that they took to the whole process. Also, it was economical.
What were some of the biggest challenges of the adoption process?
The money was definitely a challenge. Even though Angel Adoption is more affordable, it’s still a lot of money. The homestudy, all the documents you have to get together, all the little fees for mailing stuff out. Lawyer fees, which cost an arm and a leg. Hotels, transportation, etc. We were able to get the money there but that was a challenge. And then the waiting. Probably from the time we had our son and were taking care of him our birthparents never saw him - ever. They didn’t even know that he was a boy. But still. The waiting for them to sign over their rights was very nerve wracking. And we only had to wait a few days. I can’t imagine people who have to wait weeks.
What were you most nervous about?
We had already waited so long going through infertility. And then signing up to adopt and having to wait another two years, potentially, was a little daunting. Even though Angel Adoption’s timeline is shorter than most other agencies that’s still a long time. We were looking to adopt internationally and you’re looking at a five year wait. And, oh my gosh. I’ve already waited a year and a half I don’t want to wait anymore. So that was difficult and nerve wracking.
What were you most excited about?
To get my child.
How did your friends and family react to your decision to adopt?
We has a really positive reaction. No one has shown any difference towards our son. And even the reaction of us adopting, everyone was really excited and really supportive. That was something I was worried about. Because we were open to any race. And even then everyone was very open, excited and accepting.
Did you choose an open or closed adoption - and how did you make that decision?
It was open - semi-open. We met his birthparents. We agreed to do pictures and emails once a month. It was always something we wanted to do. We did a lot of research and learned it is the best thing for the child so we certainly wanted to do that. We had met the birthparents and they requested pictures and we said that we were fine with that because we had already talked about it before. We didn’t want to force anything on them. At the time we certainly wanted them to be involved in his life.
What was it like meeting the birthmother?
We met both of them. Our birthparents were actually married. Meeting them was a really, really good experience. We met them and they seemed like very nice people, very down to Earth. Very generous...I mean they gave their baby to us! They seemed at peace with the decision and they wanted to give a better life for their child. They knew that we could do things for our child that they would not have been able to do.
Adopting a baby can be a lengthy process - How did you get through the wait?
We really didn’t wait that long. We only waited to be matched for four months. We were only homestudy ready for two of those months. We got the call that our baby had been born. We didn’t even get the “you have been matched.” We just got “the baby has been born and the parents want you to go to Kentucky.”
Describe receiving the call that your baby was being born and traveling to meet him/ her:
We were doing our shopping for thanksgiving dinner. We had everything but the turkey and we were standing and kind of arguing about what turkey we should get to feed the amount of people we were having. So my husband gets a phone call and he starts making a gesture with his hands to show a belly. So I was like “oh my gosh! We’ve been matched. Oh my gosh, oh my gosh.” And he starts talking really loudly and people start hearing. I still didn’t know what was going on at the time, exactly. So he was like “come here, come here, come here.” And he said “a birthmother has picked us and she just had her baby.” Literally - I didn’t even say anything to him. I just grabbed my purse and walked out. It was the very end of the phone call that they told us it was a boy. And it wasn’t until we were on the road that we found out what race he was. It was amazing. We had to run home. We left the cart full of food in there. We just took off. Packed very poorly and just hopped in the car with our two dogs.
Describe the feeling of finally meeting your baby:
We got in there and it was a really small hospital in a little mountain town in Kentucky. And they had never done an adoption before. So there was some confusion as when we would actually be able to see him. So we had to wait a little bit for that to get cleared up. They put us in the room and let us come in...and it was just amazing. I can’t even describe it. After wanting a baby for so long and then there’s your child. Yesterday I was sitting watching TV thinking I was getting ready for my in laws to come for Thanksgiving and here I am now, a Mom. It was just amazing.
What is your relationship like with the birthparents?
I told them we would send an email about every month. And so, when he’s 1 we will see what happens from there. We’re very, very grateful for them.
Would you adopt again?
Absolutely. Even with the finances I would do it again.