How it all began...
Always the Way
Felina had always wanted to adopt. From an early age, it was determined that having children was not going to be medically possible for Felina. After meeting and starting our lives together, we knew we wanted children but filled our lives with our careers, schooling, and family. After seven years together, we knew we were meant to grow our family and decided it was time. We began the conversations of where to go from here and started our research. Angel Adoption really stood out to us, and after talking with Angel, we had a serious conversation. It did not take long to decide this was our path. We then shared with all of our family, and they were overjoyed!
Quicker Than Expected
As we began the adoption journey, we were emotionally overwhelmed. For so long, it had just been the two of us, and now we were beginning this new adventure together. We spent a lot of time wondering if we were going to be good enough. Would expectant mothers even look at us? We were so scared our age would be an issue, and it really got in our heads. To our surprise, only a couple days after we told our families we were doing this, Felina was driving with her mother and got the call! We had been chosen by an expectant mother. Felina had to pull over since she was crying hysterically.
The expectant mother was not due for a few months, and she would be in contact with us in a few days. The day we had planned to talk came and went. She did not call as she said she would. We were absolutely devastated. Then the next day she called! We proposed that we would be happy to meet her in person if she would like, and immediately she said yes. We flew out to her a few weeks later. We were so nervous, but it was the best step we took. When we arrived, we went out for lunch with the expectant mother and her grandmother. Our personalities just clicked; we bonded and shared all the same goals. Her grandmother was very supportive and invited us back to her home, where we spent hours getting to know each other. Grandma was especially fond of Juan, and they grew a great friendship.
After going home, we stayed in touch; however, we followed her lead. She would let us know about her appointments and would send us pictures of her ultrasounds. Then the communication went quiet, and we did not hear anything for a few weeks. During that time, we still sent check-ins to her. We were climbing the walls trying to remain hopeful and be patient. To get through, we literally painted every inch of the house, polished every piece of silverware, pulled every weed, and stayed as active as possible. Nighttime was the hardest for us; “what ifs” would run through our minds. Having the support from Angel, our social worker, and our family were very helpful for getting us through this. The expectant mother was always so sweet, and everything just aligned.
Ball of Nerves
We knew she was scheduled for a C- section, and we had already scheduled to fly out but still had not heard from her, so we sent her a check-in. It was such a relief to hear from her. She let us know she wanted Felina to be in the room with her for the delivery. The day before she was scheduled to deliver, we all ordered Chinese and hung out in the hospital room together. The expectant mother started feeling pretty tired and asked that we stay with her. Not too long after she started to get some rest, she felt restless and said she was going into labor. Things began to happen very quickly, and before we knew it, we were holding her hand, breathing with her and crying together. The labor and delivery went extremely fast, so fast that the doctor missed out. We all took turns holding the baby and rocking him. We stayed in the nursery with him all night. We just couldn’t part ways having fallen completely in love with him. The expectant mother wanted to spend more and more time with him, keeping him in the room with her. We were nervous; in fact, it was gut wrenching. Her father came to visit and met us. We became even more nervous as he was not supportive of the adoption plan. We soon found out she had her mind made up. This was the plan, and she was going to move forward with the support of her grandmother.
It was very important to us that she had as much of a part of his life as she wanted. We are friends on social media and check in but don’t push anything. We don’t want to overwhelm her. The door is always open to her as we are eternally grateful for her and what she went through.
Having faith and patience with the process will get you through. We did everything that was suggested: We made a video and made sure to be ourselves, knowing we couldn’t mold ourselves into anything. The smallest thing brought our expectant mother to us: a simple wedding picture with cowboy boots and cowboy hats! It was the energy in our pictures, our video, and meeting in person that helped her make the decision to choose us.
Everything will happen when the time is right. You cannot speed this process up. You have to be understanding that when an expectant mother is not responding or you have not yet been chosen, there is nothing you can do. These are human lives and emotions, and rushing that will not lead to where you are meant to be.