How it All Began...
How did you decide to adopt a baby?
There are many reasons we sought to adopt. To begin, we have a great example of the beauty of adoption in our own family. Seth’s brother and his wife adopted their son four years prior to our decision to adopt. Our nephew has been a joy to the family, and the happiness adoption brought to his parents we wanted for ourselves. This was one of the reasons we specifically desired to adopt an African American child. We looked forward to the connection our child would have with his cousin. While we have two biological children, we view adoption as a powerful picture of love and acceptance that will strengthen our family. We also felt we could provide a home full of love, stability, fun, and laughter where our child would have a sense of belonging and strong family bonds.
Why did you choose to work with Angel Adoption?
We chose Angel because they came strongly recommended by our family members that worked with Angel. Not only did they have success, they had a very positive experience. We also chose Angel due to their high success rates and lower cost relative to other “match-making” organizations.
What were you most excited about?
We were most excited to meet our son!
What were you most nervous about?
We were most nervous about navigating a relationship with the birthmother and the possibility of one or more matches falling through.
How did your friends and family react to your decision to adopt?
Nearly everyone was overwhelmingly excited and supportive. As soon as we started the process, it’s like a community of those that have gone through adoption came out of the woodwork. Some friends have also sought us out to ask us questions as they have begun considering adoption.
What was it like meeting the birthmother for the first time?
We met Trey’s birthmother for the first time in the hospital the day Trey was born. When Becca arrived in the hospital room of Trey’s birthmother, she was greeted with open arms and an excitement that she made it. Seth was unable to get on a flight with Becca, so Becca had a few solo hours with Trey’s birthmother. It turned out to be a blessing. The two were able to connect woman to woman, and together visit Trey in the high intensive care unit where Trey was taken due to his prematurity.
Did you choose an open or closed adoption? How did you make that decision?
While we preferred an open adoption so our child would have an understanding of where he came from, we were okay with whatever preference the birthmother had. Our adoption is open, and we correspond every few months or so.
Describe receiving the call that your baby was being born and traveling to meet him.
Becca received the phone call that our son was born on the Thursday afternoon before Easter. She was walking from her office building to her car in the pouring rain when our son’s birth grandmother called with the news that the baby had been born that morning in Houston. Because of the holiday, last-minute flights were scarce. In fact, the soonest flight had only one seat left, so we flew separately. It was frantic getting ready and Becca was very emotional they we wouldn’t be meeting Trey together as envisioned, but it all worked out.
Describe the experience of finally meeting your baby.
Because Trey was born five weeks early, he was taken to the high risk unit of the hospital immediately after birth. So, when Becca arrived to the hospital, she had the option of meeting the birthmother first or meeting Trey. She chose to first meet Trey. When she arrived at his room, there were five or so other babies in the unit. She didn’t know which one was Trey, but when Becca caught glimpse of the cute little boy outside his incubator being changed, she secretly hoped it was him. And it was! As soon as the two connected, Becca was able to hold him and feed him a bottle. The moment was beautiful. He was beautiful. Later Becca came to find out she had actually held and fed him before his birthmother! Trey’s birthmother had graciously waited to visit the high risk unit until Becca arrived. Later when Seth arrived, he was accompanied by both Becca and Trey’s birthmother. It’s not often that a father is led by two different kinds of moms to meet his son.
What is your relationship like with the birthmother?
There is little communication with Trey’s birthmother. We speak on the phone on occasion, and send updates and pictures every few months.
What were the biggest challenges of the adoption process?
The biggest challenge of the adoption process was communicating with the birthmother and knowing our boundaries with her.
Adopting a baby can be a lengthy process - how did you get through the wait?
We didn’t have to! Our birthmother chose us just ten days after our profile became available, and Trey was born six months later. The wait for birth was shorter than a full pregnancy, so the wait felt natural.
Would you adopt again? Why or why not?
Absolutely! We had a great experience and are so in love with Trey.
What advice do you have to share with other adoptive parents?
Find out as much of your child’s story as you can. You never know what your relationship will be like with the birth parents post-adoption.