How it all began...
With Patience and Understanding
For five years, we struggled with infertility. It was a disappointing process of trying to conceive our own biological child and then being let down when our attempts didn’t work. We dealt with a lot of different emotions throughout this journey. Finally, we decided adoption would be the logical next step in our journey to expand our family.
We did a lot of research on the adoption process. We also prepared ourselves both financially and emotionally for the process. At the suggestion of the social worker who conducted our home study process, we decided to partner with Angel. It was the best decision. We felt supported and hopeful every step of the way.
In the beginning, due to our fertility struggles, we had fears. More than other couples, we were aware there wasn’t a limit to the disappointment we could go through during this process. We carefully balanced our impatience at wanting to start a family while protecting ourselves from getting too excited.
Our family and friends were really supportive from the beginning. They saw us through our entire infertility journey. They were happy we finally decided to take another approach to starting a family and wanted us to succeed.
Our Connection & Gender Reveal
We were connected quickly to an expectant mother. From the beginning, our conversations with the expectant mother and father were easy. We comforted each other throughout the entire journey. It was amazing to us that they empathized with our struggles as much as we empathized with them. Each step of the way, we gave each other assurances that made going through the process a lot easier emotionally.
After two weeks of talking, we went to the city where they lived. It was Valentine’s Day weekend, and we made a trip out of it. We spent the time meeting them and bonding with them. After we came back, we felt much closer to them. They offered to send us the gender of the baby through their doctor. We got to have a gender reveal party with our family and friends. That was very special for us.
Here We Go
We didn’t want to miss the big day, so we decided to be there a week early. She ended up having a scheduled C-section. Once she went in, she told the nurses she wanted us there for the C-section. Eventually, we got a call from the doctor and were able to be there to cut the cord. They even gave us a room so we could bond with our baby.
The first time we held our baby, there were no words to describe the experience. It was such a culmination of the washing away of fears, of hope, and of the love we experienced all throughout our fertility struggles and the adoption process. We felt like the love just permeated the room.
The birthmother turned out to be the answer to all of our prayers. We treasure the strong bond we’ve developed with her. She has given us such a special pregnancy-to-birth journey.
The Beginning of Expanding Our Family
In retrospect, our fertility struggles, the waiting to connect with a birthmother, and the waiting to finalize the adoption all helped to strengthen our marriage and ultimately the bond within our own family. We’ve grown immensely as individuals. We’ve grown closer as spouses and parents. People often think about how hard it is to go through infertility and then the adoption process. But we think these difficult times are gifts that really set us up to be successful parents.
In the near future, we’d like to adopt again. One of the biggest lessons we’ve learned through our adoption process is to be patient and understanding of one another. With the birthmother, staff at Angel, lawyers, and social workers, we tried to put ourselves in their shoes for a minute. We’ve made better connections with everyone because of this, and our process has been a lot smoother than it could have been.