How it All Began...
We started the adoption process many years prior to finding the right agency to work with. During this time, Ri-Anne had her second back surgery, causing us to place the adoption process on hold again. A year later, we found out we were pregnant with our first child, which was very unexpected, so we again needed to put the adoption process on hold. Once our wonderful son reached two years old, we talked about trying to have another child, but as we were getting older, we looked back to adoption and picked it back up again.
When we restarted the adoption process, our first priority was to find the right team that fit our family—a team that truly saw us as a loving family and not just a number. When we found the team at Angel, we knew it was the right fit for us. Our adoption coordinator was simply the best. From the beginning, she took the time to get to know our family. She became our support when times became uncertain and emotions were high and new.
In the beginning of our adoption journey, we were nervous, scared, and apprehensive. When we didn’t make a connection after talking to more than five expectant mothers, we were a bit disappointed. We would ask ourselves and our coordinator, “Is there something wrong with us?” She would help us through it by listening and truly understanding.
After a couple of very big disappointments, we were able to detach from the emotional rollercoaster, be calm, open our hearts and minds to the unknown, and walk on an exciting journey. One day a very special expectant mom would come across our profile and see what wonderful people we are and how much love we could provide, and the connection would happen.
During this time, we never wavered from what we felt was central in this process. We came into this process wanting to establish a connection with the birthmother so we could take the journey together, so we focused on an honest connection with the expectant mother. Then we simply waited patiently with open arms and hearts!
During the pregnancy, she would keep us updated on her doctor appointments, how she was feeling, and just general information about her day. During one of our daily chats, she asked if we wanted to know the sex of the baby; we told her yes but only if she also wanted to know.
Later that day we received a text message with an ultrasound picture showing us it was a girl! We were all excited, and tears came from all three of us.
During one of our conversations, she asked us if we had chosen a name for her. We asked her if she would like to help choose a name, and she responded with excitement. Even though all this was over text messaging, we could feel how excited she was to take part in it with us, and the connection grew! Together we named her Kimora Anne because it means brave and strong.
The Day Arrived
Over the next few months, we exchanged many text messages with the expectant mother. She asked about us and we asked about her as we built a strong foundation of trust, love, and understanding. When the special day arrived, she texted, “OMG, my water broke.” I texted her back immediately, “OMG, are you for real? Call 911.” I rushed home from work, and we packed up to get on the next flight. It was pure excitement knowing we were going to be meeting our expectant mom and our baby girl soon.
When we arrived at the hospital at 2 a.m., the staff was so welcoming and brought us straight into the birthmother’s room, where she and baby Kimora were. She was so beautiful, sweet, and just so welcoming to us, which made us feel at ease with her. We know she was worried about us meeting for the first time, just like we were. Kimora was so very tiny and looked so peaceful. The hospital provided us a room to stay in so we could bond with Kimora and could be close to her birthmother, which might sound weird, but for all of us, we wanted to keep building the bond. That night we held our little miracle for hours, feeling like it was all a dream.
We wanted her birthmother to feel connected to us and to Kimora, so we welcomed her to spend quality time with us.
It was amazing to be able to be the family she entrusted to love, care for, raise, and be Mom and Dad to her little one. She is an amazing woman in our eyes.
The Right Connection Means Everything
Looking back at our adoption journey, the greatest lesson we learned is that the right connection was worth waiting for. The naturalness of the interactions with Kimora’s birthmother made the process a lot easier. Even now, we send pictures to her and keep her updated on how Kimora is growing and how she is changing daily. She will always be a part of our family.
Life with Kimora at home feels blissful and fulfilling. Our son is an amazing big brother and very hands on with her. We are grateful and have renewed faith because of this process. We have two new additions to our family with Kimora and her birthmother.
To new adoptive parents, we simply want to say, “Trust the process. Trust your connection to the birthmother, and when the feeling and time is right, you will know.”