What is Open Adoption?

When it comes to the different types of adoption, open adoption is the most widely practiced form nationwide. It can also be one of the most beneficial types of adoption for all parties involved. While no two open adoptions are like, the term is used to describe an adoption in which the following two things occur:

• Identifying information, including names, phone numbers, email addresses, or more, is shared between the birthmother and the adoptive parents.
• Some form of communication is established before, during, or after the adoption process between the birthmother and the adoptive parents. It can be direct communication or through an intermediary.

What constitutes open adoption, how communication or contact is established, and what sort of identifying information is shared varies greatly. Ultimately, the answer to the question, “What is open adoption?” is unique to the specific circumstances of each situation. The wishes of the birthmother and adoptive parents, as well as the agreement the two parties reach, form what open adoption looks like.

Because each open adoption situation is different, how an open adoption works depends on the desires and wishes of the birthmother and adoptive parents and what they've agreed upon. Communication can range anywhere from texts, phone calls, or video chats to in-person visits before, during, and after birth. Below, we've outlined a step-by-step process for how an open adoption could work. Please note that depending on the agreement between adoptive parents and birthmothers, this process could look different.

Step 1: Communicating Your Desires With Your Adoption Coordinator

After completing your free adoption application at Angel Adoption, a coordinator will reach out to you. Along with providing information on the next steps, the adoption coordinator will follow up on what type of adoption you'd prefer, explaining the differences between open, semi-open, and closed. Most adoptive parents choose some level of open adoption, expressing what type of communication and contact they're comfortable with.

Step 2: An Expectant Mother Chooses You

Based on the information you've provided to your adoption coordinator, and after the creation of an adoptive family profile and completion of the adoption home study, expectant mothers interested in a similar type of adoption will have the opportunity to learn more about your family. Adoption coordinators will share profiles that align with values or the level of openness an expectant mother is looking for. Then, expectant mothers will decide which families they would like to learn more about and connect with. Your adoption coordinator will contact you to establish some form of communication with her (it could be a phone call, text, or email).

Step 3: Establishing Communication and Building a Relationship

This is where many open adoption experiences vary. After contact has been established with assistance from the adoption coordinator, adoptive families and expectant mothers can then begin to build a relationship with each other, usually at the birthmother's pace. It all depends on the wishes of each party, but in some cases, prospective parents and expectant mothers could have regular phone conversations or even meet in person one or more times.

Step 4: Defining Post-Placement Open Adoption Rules

Throughout the process of getting to know the adoptive parents, expectant mothers may change what type of adoption they're looking for. Until the adoption is finalized, expectant mothers always have the right to change their minds and what they're looking for. This could affect what open adoption looks like after the baby goes home with the adoptive family. In some cases, a birthmother may ask for occasional updates via text or email. In other cases, birthmothers may want to visit or have video chats with the adoptive parents and child. All of this will be outlined in the post-placement agreement made between birthmothers and adoptive parents.

While the thought of open adoption might be stressful for prospective parents of adopted children, there are many benefits of open adoption that positively impact the birthparents, the adoptive family, and the adopted child. Consider these benefits:

• Open adoption offers access to more detailed health and background information.
• Birthparents are able to see and understand that the difficult decision they made ended up being a great one for themselves and their adopted children.
• In many open adoptions, strong and supportive relationships are built between birthmothers and adoptive parents that benefit both parties.
• Children ultimately want to know more about their biological families, and open adoption can allow for access to information and communication with biological family members.
• Children of open adoptions often have a better opportunity to understand their story and build a stronger sense of self earlier on.

When it comes to how different open adoption can appear across families, it's not uncommon for parents to have concerns and incorrectly associate open adoption with co-parenting. The reality is that open adoption is not co-parenting, and there are very distinct differences between the two.

What is Co-Parenting?

Co-parenting is when two parents, who are not in a relationship with each other, legally raise a child together. It often happens in cases of divorce or when couples separate. With co-parenting, both parents share legal responsibility for the child, which is distinctively different from what occurs in an open adoption.

Co-Parenting is Not Open Adoption

When an open adoption is finalized, the adoptive parents assume all legal responsibility and guardianship for the child. Birthparents no longer have any legal rights associated with the child, nor do they have any legal responsibility to raise or care for the child. What an open adoption allows for, however, depends on the post-placement agreement made between the adoptive and birth parents. It could be some form of communication, the possibility of a visit, or pictures, letters, and other updates.

When it comes to open adoption, it's natural to wonder if this type of adoption is confusing to children. This is an all-too-common thought, and the answer is no. Open adoption isn't confusing, and, if handled well, it can help children more easily understand where they came from and build stronger senses of self.

Below, we've highlighted some open adoption tips and tricks hopeful parents can use to breach this subject with their future children, especially in open adoptions where the birthmother may be in semi-frequent contact with the family.

• Normalize talking about adoption: Some may wonder if there's too early of an age to discuss adoption, and the answer is typically no. Breaching this topic with young children better helps them conceptualize who they are and where they came from, as well as aids in creating distinctions between adoptive and biological families. When talking about open adoption, it's also recommended to establish specific terms and language around adoption and to use it consistently when having a conversation. Consider using words like “birthmom” or “birthparents” to establish roles and help children delineate the different aspects of their story.
• Be open and honest: Children will naturally have a lot of questions concerning their adoption, and it's recommended that adoptive parents are open and honest when discussing age-appropriate details. Not only will this help solidify trust, but by answering questions as truthfully as possible, it helps children better understand who they are and where they came from.
• Focus on positive language: When discussing the differences between a child's birthparents and adopted parents, positive language is key. Not only will this avoid implanting negative thoughts or feelings about a child's birthparents, but it also prevents self-confidence issues that may arise from ascribing negative language to a child's background.
• Keep photos, letters, cards, and more on display: If biological families have sent letters, photos, gifts, or other items, keeping them on display or somewhere visible can help normalize open adoption. Doing so can reinforce the positives of open adoption, as well as spark conversations that help children better understand who they are and where they came from.

If you ever have any questions about newborn infant adoption, open adoption, or different aspects of the process, our compassionate team members are happy to help. Please contact us, and let our helpful coordinators help you make your dreams of starting a family come true.