How It All Began...
The Right Time
Lindsey has always had a heart for adoption, and early in our relationship, we discussed adoption as a couple. We knew adoption would be part of our family planning; we just weren’t sure when. While David was in the military, we knew it wasn’t an ideal time to adopt due to the number of times we moved. We took that time to have biological children, and when we were ready to put roots down, we started researching adoption.
We spoke with a couple local adoption providers first but felt we would have a greater chance of success with a provider with more outreach. We found Angel through online research and knew they were what we were looking for. They had the national presence we were looking for and were more affordable than some of the other national providers we found.
We didn’t share our adoption plans with everyone, but those friends and family members whom we did share with were excited and not surprised. They knew adoption was a dream of ours, and they were happy to see our dreams finally come to fruition.
A Slow Start
For the first twelve months with Angel, we had zero opportunities. It was difficult to sit and wait with no expectant mother outreach. We found ourselves obsessing over the website, watching other families like ours be selected and some even adopt while we sat without interest. It was hard not to think that there was something wrong with us. Why hadn’t anyone chosen our profile yet?
As we were struggling with the wait, life had alternate plans for us, and we moved across the country. We chose to pause our contract so we could focus on the move and update our home study without the added pressure of trying to adopt.
Trusting Our Instincts
Upon coming back active with Angel, our profile was selected by two expectant mothers. For the first opportunity, we got to know the expectant mother fairly well and were starting to build a solid relationship with her. We could start imagining our growing family, but when it came time to hire attorney services, we found her support needs were more than we were able to provide and had to pull back.
The second opportunity was brief as we only spoke with the expectant mother a couple times before she stopped communicating with both us and Angel.
Both of these experiences had us feeling hopeful but also discouraged. When we were contacted with our third opportunity, we initially thought the call wasn’t for us because it didn’t start like our first two. As it turned out, we were the correct family, but the expectant mother did not want to communicate with us and wanted a completely closed adoption. It was estimated that she was at the end of her third trimester; however, with only one doctor’s appointment and ultrasound, it was hard to know exactly how far along she was. Not building a relationship with the expectant mother had never been part of our plan, but as this process was teaching us, this wasn’t our plan to control.
We chose to move forward with the opportunity and had attorney services hired right away. The expectant mother lived about one hour away from us, so it was a fairly seamless process. While the expectant mother did not want a relationship with us, she was fantastic about meeting with the social worker. Through the social worker, we were able to gather a little more information about the expectant mother and her story.
An Unexpected Meeting
The expectant mother did not want us at the hospital, so the birth plan was that we would pick the baby up when they were discharged. The social worker was the one who called to give us the news that the baby was born healthy and asked if we wanted to know the gender. We said absolutely and found out we had a new daughter! The expectant mother had asked to have her time in the hospital with the baby, and when discharge was approved, we would come pick up our daughter. It was a tortuous feeling knowing that our new daughter was less than one hour away and we still had to wait days to meet her.
When we received the call that we were able to go pick up our daughter, Lindsey went to the hospital only to find out the hospital would not approve an evening discharge, and she had to return home without the baby. The following morning, we were allowed back, and together we met our daughter, Daisy, for the first time in the lobby. She was taken back upstairs by the nurses, and by the time they came back, she was fast asleep in her car seat.
As we headed home with Daisy, it felt so surreal to be bringing home a child we had yet to hold. We hadn’t had the chance to bond with her at the hospital because her birthmother was discharging as well, and she did not want to meet us.
Once home, we could not stop loving on Daisy. She was the perfect baby, and we could not take our eyes off her. When our older kids returned home from school, they were equally as excited to meet their new baby sister.
What Is Meant to Be
Waiting for Daisy was one of the hardest things we have ever done. We had to continually remind ourselves not to compare our journey to another family’s, as everyone’s journey will look different. It was important that we focused on staying busy and to find other places to find our happiness. We knew when it was our time, it was meant to be.
Each day we have with Daisy is a blessing. While we may never have the chance to thank her birthmother in person, we will forever be grateful for the choice she made for her daughter and our family.