How it All Began...

My Journey to Motherhood

I have known my whole life I wanted children and never let go of the hope of someday becoming a mother. I spent my days surrounded by children while teaching kindergarten and would come home to a husband who did not want children. I made peace with that and put all my love and energy into those kids at school. As life evolved, I found myself single again and still yearning for the sounds of children in my home. After researching and support from a friend, I found Angel Adoption.

When I shared the news of my adoption journey, people thought I was crazy because I am a single woman and because of my age. Close family and friends surrounded me in love and support, and I was overjoyed to have them by my side as I started my journey into motherhood. Within eight months of signing on with Angel, I received a call I had been chosen by a birthmother. She had about three months before her due date and was having a baby girl. That was January 2011, and by March 25 I received a phone call that the birthmother was in labor and I needed to get to the hospital. I went into hyper mode, packing and trying to find a flight out as quickly as possible. I ended up arriving at the hospital 12 hours after she was born. When I arrived, I immediately hugged the birthmother, who was young and scared. She had family pressuring her to not pursue adoption, but she was adamant that she wanted this baby girl to be in my arms and home.

When I held my daughter for the first time, it was as if time slowed down. My first concern was the wellbeing of the birthmother, so we talked as I held the baby. I named her Eva, and her birthmother gave her the middle name Michelle. It was a beautiful moment I will never forget. I remember sitting and rocking her, thinking, “I can’t believe God gave you to me!” It was a miracle.

We agreed on an open adoption and stayed in touch for five years but then lost contact. I will always remain open, and if Eva’s birthmother decides to contact me again, I will be here with an open heart.

Adoption Journey Round Two

When Eva was about two years old, I felt called to pursue adoption once again. I knew the odds were not in my favor as a single woman who had a child already, and Angel staff confirmed this for me. I was heartbroken and decided not to move forward. I still found myself looking at Angel’s website, and I came across a story of a single mother of one who had successfully adopted again. That was the sign I needed to move forward and start my next adoption journey. By the time I signed on with Angel again, Eva was in preschool. I wanted her to have a sibling so they could be by each other’s side for their whole lives.

I know each journey is unique, and this could not have been more true for me. Within a few months, I was chosen by a birthmother and moved forward with her. She ultimately decided to keep her baby, and although I was sad, I never felt angry as I knew this was her decision. Not long after that, another birthmother chose me and only had a few short months until she was due. We quickly connected and moved forward. I made plans to travel to her state and had everything lined up for January 1 of that year. I then found out through social media that she gave birth earlier and ended up placing her child with another family. I was devastated and confused and had to explain to Eva that this baby wasn't meant for us and that it was okay—people change their minds. As I continued on my journey I again experienced another failed connection, but I knew this wasn't the end for me. I had about six months left on my contract and still felt strongly that I was being called to adopt.

In March 2017 I received a call from Angel that a birthmother had again chosen me and was far along. I made plans to go meet her in person and was so sad when she didn’t show up. I texted her, and she said she would meet me the next morning but again never showed. I flew back home feeling confused but trusting all would work out. When I arrived home, she texted and explained she was sorry and had called Angel and moved forward with making an adoption plan. I moved forward with a bit of caution as I was unsure if she would follow through. I knew this was incredibly difficult for her and did my best to give her space while remaining hopeful. After seeing a doctor, she was given an induction date. I made plans to arrive to pick her up and drive her to the hospital. We checked in around 5:00 p.m., and she gave birth around five hours later. I was blessed to be able to be in the room for the birth of my second child. Seeing this was miraculous. I felt like I was dreaming; it all felt so surreal. My baby was here, and she was beautiful. Her name was Maya. Maya’s birthmother didn’t know what kind of communication she wanted, and I left that up to her. I didn’t hear from her for years, and I was overjoyed when she reached out again and wanted to see pictures of Maya. We have made plans to keep in touch.

Dreams Do Come True

Eva is now eight years old and just the sweetest older sister to two-and-a-half-year-old Maya. When Maya was born, Eva was so excited although a bit jealous of all the attention given to her new baby sister. It’s incredible that these two girls actually do look alike, and you would never guess they aren’t biologically related. Everything just came together beautifully, and I can’t imagine my life without these two beautiful girls in it. I was lucky enough to retire when Maya was a year old and have been enjoying my time being a full-time mom.

After going through two very different adoption journeys, I have come to know true patience and understanding. Having the support of the Angel staff when going through the tougher times of waiting and failed adoptions was a key component to feeling supported. Having an open mind and trying to place myself in the shoes of the birthmother was an important part of both adoption journeys. I feel my family is whole and complete and will continue to savor the days of watching these two beautiful girls grow.