How it all began...
A Preview of Our Journey
Like so many couples, we struggled with infertility prior to adoption. Christine’s niece is adopted, and we saw it as a no-brainer to walk away from IVF and turn to adoption.
When we first started with Angel, we were hopeful we would have a quick, easy process. We could not have been more wrong about what our journey would look like. During our 3.5 years with Angel, we would ultimately work with seven expectant mothers and, with some, build solid relationships, but it wouldn’t be until much later in our journey that we would finally connect with the expectant mother meant for us.
Not Meant for Us
It took about one and a half years for us to be chosen for the first time. The first opportunity we had was with an expectant mother who was due in only three short months, and we got to the point of hiring attorney services for her. She struggled with her health and ultimately chose to parent after her family offered to help her. It was definitely a letdown, but we were grateful to see she had a support system around her.
A couple of months after that, just after we’d been with Angel for two years, we got a call on a holiday weekend that our profile was chosen; the birthmother had given birth that day and was only two hours from us. We immediately went into flight mode, contacting attorneys, packing, and preparing to head out as soon as we were told to. The attorney wanted to speak with the birthmother before we headed to the hospital. The next day, when the attorney had yet to hear from the birthmother, we found out Angel hadn’t heard from her either, and it was likely she had chosen to parent and was discharged from the hospital with her child. It was a huge emotional disappointment to go from “we could be picking up a baby tomorrow” to back to waiting.
Trusting Our Gut
At this point, two years in, we were starting to get antsy. We decided to sign up with a smaller, local agency as well. It couldn’t hurt to work with two places. We had also graciously been given an extension by Angel, and we figured we would continue to see what happened.
It would be another six months before we were chosen again and during that time, we continued to keep the hope alive. We knew there had to be a child out there meant for us so we kept dreaming of the day when we would find each other. We focused on traveling, weekend adventures, and enjoying our time together. We knew a child would change our world, and we wanted to prioritize ourselves while we still could.
The next opportunity was incredibly hopeful, but due to the state laws of the expectant mother and legal issues around the birthfather, we were advised by the attorney to walk away from the opportunity. We were, once again, disappointed but knew the laws were out of our control.
Five months later, we were chosen yet again. We had told ourselves we weren’t going to renew our home study again, and this was likely the last opportunity we’d have. We had spent the last five months mentally shifting that we might be a couple that does not get to be parents. We had attorney services hired fairly quickly, but there were so many red flags as the attorneys worked closer with the expectant mother. Our gut was telling us to walk away, and we were so torn. We hadn’t truly walked away from an opportunity yet based on “gut feeling,” but we had to trust there was a reason we were uneasy. We didn’t know it at the time, but walking away is what would lead us to our son, Logan.
Two weeks after walking away from our sixth opportunity, we were chosen again. The expectant mother was asking for a closed adoption and did not want to have contact with us, but she had read our profile and thought we were a great fit. We went into this opportunity the same as the last; this might be our last chance. Since she wanted a closed adoption with no contact, we hired attorneys immediately. The attorney spent several weeks trying to get ahold of the expectant mother and each time was unable to connect. When they finally did connect and set up a time to meet, she didn’t show up to the appointment. We knew she was due within the next month, so we continued to hold onto hope that something would happen in the next 30 days.
As it turned out, the expectant mother didn’t show up to meet with the attorney because she went into labor a full month early and delivered her son! The attorney emailed Christine during the work day with a vague email that they thought the baby had been born. It was such a shocking email to receive! Christine immediately called Jason, freaking out, and we both waited on pins and needles for more details. The attorney finally got in contact later that afternoon that the birthmother had in fact delivered a baby and we should get there ASAP.
We frantically packed that evening and, early the next morning, started the eight-hour drive to meet our baby! It was surreal to know our years-long journey might be coming to an end within the next handful of hours.
We drove straight to the hospital and arrived that evening. Our son, Logan, was in the NICU due to his early delivery, and the hospital staff welcomed us with open arms. They were all so wonderful and loving. Logan’s birthmother had self-discharged after only 24 hours, against the doctor’s recommendation, and unfortunately, we never had a chance to meet her. We wish we could have given her a big hug and thanked her for choosing us, trusting us, and giving us the best gift.
When Logan’s birthmother left the hospital, she hadn’t yet signed any of her paperwork but did confirm with the attorney her plan to place for adoption. She had been clear with the hospital as well thankfully. We were very protective of Logan the first handful of days, telling almost no one where we were because we were afraid that the state would step in and he would go into FosterCare. . After five days of silence from her and advocacy from our attorney and the hospital, we finally felt comfortable announcing to friends and family that our baby had finally found his way to us. We were parents to our sweet Logan.
A Full Circle Story
Our adoption story came full circle when we returned home and our niece, who was adopted, was house-sitting for us. She was the first person to meet Logan, and twenty years prior, Christine was the first person to meet her. We love the bond these two are able to share; it’s so special to watch them love each other.
Our journey to Logan was not easy or quick, as we had hoped it would be, but looking back, we know that each of those previous six expectant mothers was one step closer to connecting with Logan’s birthmother. Had we not trusted our gut with the sixth opportunity, we would have missed connecting with Logan, and we cannot imagine life without him.