Being a birthmother isn’t easy. While you are dealing with your own emotions about adoption, you may also have opinions from friends and family to deal with. Some people may agree with your decision, and others might not. People will always have their opinions, but we want you to feel confident and proud about your decision to place your baby for adoption. Ultimately, YOU and only YOU can make that decision. For now, we want to put these common myths to rest.
Myth: A birthmother does not love her baby.
Truth: This myth could not be farther from the truth. In reality, it is the exact opposite. When a woman or couple chooses to place a baby for adoption, they are doing one of the most loving, brave, and selfless things possible. Honestly, it doesn’t get much more selfless than that. Nothing says “love” like wanting the best for a child, even if that means a life with adoptive parents. Choosing adoption isn’t giving up an unloved or unwanted child, it is recognizing your current situation and wanting a better life for them. Don’t let anyone make you think otherwise!
Myth: Adoption is the “easy way out.”
Truth: Perhaps you are teeter-tottering on adoption because you fear that it would be an irresponsible choice as a result of an unplanned pregnancy. Maybe you feel that parenting is the “responsible” or “right” thing to do. Depending on your unique situation, this may or may not be true. Should you choose adoption for your baby, it is actually a very caring, loving, and responsible act. Adoption should never be considered an “easy way out” because it is far from easy! Birthmothers love their children. They are not choosing adoption to make their life “easier.” They are doing it so their child can have the life they may not be able to provide.
Myth: Adoptive parents don’t care about birthmothers.
Truth: When placing a child for adoption, it may be hard to believe that there are people on your side. In reality, there are many people rooting for you who commend you for making such a loving and selfless decision for your child, including the adoptive parents. By choosing adoption, you are bringing light and happiness to people’s lives that they might not be able to achieve without you. The adoptive parents are not only thankful for your gift, but want you to be comfortable, healthy and happy throughout your pregnancy. While adoptive parents may never be able to fully understand what it’s like to be a birthmother, they do care about you and respect your thoughts and emotions.
Myth: Adoptive parents won’t love a child as much as a birthmother.
Truth: It is certainly true that there is a special bond between a birthmother and her child, and that bond can never be taken away or replaced, but adoptive parents can and will love your child as fully and selflessly as biological parents. Most adoptive parents with both biological and adopted children report no difference in the love they feel for their children.