How it all began...
Adoption runs deep in our family. It’s always been a part of our lives, and it’s something we instantly felt comfortable with. Our fertility journey led to heartbreak after heartbreak, and then COVID hit. We were feeling hopeless as every obstacle imaginable was thrown at us. We had always planned on adopting, so pursuing that journey was a no-brainer. We decided to pursue surrogacy and adoption at the same time. We were more than ready to start growing our family!
We chose Angel Adoption because their team cared. They were not going to give up on us as long as we didn’t give up on ourselves. Angel’s team was empathetic and relatable. It was easy to talk to our adoptive parent coordinator; we loved her so much. The calls themselves were not easy! They were full of tears and frustration, but our coordinator knew how to listen to us without judgment. She helped us see the light at the end of the tunnel and regain hope in all of the hopelessness.
Waiting to be chosen by an expectant mother was agonizing for us. We wondered what was wrong with us and what was missing from our life that was making this take so long. We were prepared for the worst but hoping for the best. It was hard emotionally and mentally. We allowed ourselves to be sad when the feelings came up, but we never gave up. We were resilient. The unknown can break you down, but when you get to the end of the road, you will see everything with clarity: that it was meant to be that way and lead to the perfect moment in time when you finally hold your baby.
Keeping busy helped during our journey. We slowly created the nursery of our dreams to stay positive. We had fun with it and didn’t want to let that be another thing we were waiting on. We were literally manifesting the moment when our son or daughter would come home to us. We were pleasantly surprised by the training our home study social worker required. At first, we felt like it was homework for something we were already prepared for. But we had great conversations about topics we hadn’t thoroughly thought about, like interracial adoption. We had no racial preferences in our adoption profile, so we had to prepare ourselves to educate our child about their own culture. We collected age-appropriate books that are currently in our son’s nursery.
A challenge for us was opening our hearts to any post-placement agreement. Initially we wanted a closed adoption, but after waiting for a while with no opportunities, we realized fear was in the driver’s seat. We had to face some tough realizations. We had to decide if we could prioritize starting the family we desperately wanted or if it was more important to us to wait for an expectant mother who also wanted a closed adoption. There’s no right or wrong answer, but for us, it felt right to open ourselves up. We felt confident by expanding our preferences, more opportunities would come our way. We now have a wonderful open adoption with our son’s birthmother. We maintain communication, text her pictures weekly, and will happily plan a visit with her whenever she’s ready. We’re so glad we let go of the fear and embraced the joyous love of an open adoption.
Make a Wish
One year into our contract, we finally got an opportunity to reach out to an expectant mother who chose our profile. We were so excited! We had some great communication with her and even talked to her extended family. We thought a Christmas miracle was in our future, but that opportunity was over after 72 hours. It was shocking and devastating. We had waited so long for this, and then it was ripped out from under us.
We waited another six months, holding onto faith that this would work for us. Nicole made a birthday wish that year that our profile would get chosen and our dream would finally be realized. We couldn’t believe it when our coordinator called the very next day with an immediate opportunity. Was this really happening? We jumped in with no hesitation. It was a birthday miracle!
When the expectant mother started experiencing contractions, we drove the six hours to be there. We stayed the night, but after no further progress, headed back home to continue waiting. Five miles away from our home, she called us back, in labor! We whipped the car back around and got there just in time. We were in the delivery room with her, holding her hands while our son was born. We did skin to skin with him and spent his first few days together in the hospital. It was the most memorable experience. Our wild ride had so many ups and downs, but we would do it again, no questions asked.