How it all began

Goals Aligned

Before ever getting married or even knowing each other, both of us felt drawn to adoption. As we became a couple and talked about our futures together, we found that our family planning goals aligned. After getting married, we decided to pursue adoption in order to grow our family.

One Sunday as we were driving home from church, our conversation drifted to the topic of adoption. We found that we both felt ready to begin the process, so we started our research that day. We found Angel Adoption through an online search and were instantly drawn to their website. After our initial call with their staff, we felt confident they were the right choice for our adoption journey.

Finding the Right Fit

The first time we were chosen by an expectant mother, we had just moved into a new home. Since we hoped to be growing our family soon, we wanted a house with more space. We spoke with that expectant mother regularly over the course of a week. To our surprise, and at the end of the week, Angel contacted us with a second opportunity! We couldn’t believe we had been chosen twice in the same week!

The moment we spoke with the second expectant mother, we knew something felt different. It felt so comfortable, open, and right. After only a weekend of speaking with her, we all decided to move forward with legal services the following week. It was so difficult for us to let the first expectant mother down, but we felt strongly this was the right choice for us. Our coordinator assured us she was in good hands with her coordinator, who would help her choose another wonderful family to work with.

The expectant mother we moved forward with was nearing the end of her second trimester when we began communicating. We spoke with her every day up to the day of her delivery. We primarily texted with her and learned more about her and her life. She had a support system through the process, but they weren’t actively involved in her adoption plan, so we did our best to offer her as much support as we could.

Over the three months that we communicated, she always seemed so sure about her adoption plan. She regularly referred to us as the parents and we saw no sign that she ever wavered on her decision. Despite that, we understood there was still no guarantee a placement would happen, so we remained cautiously optimistic.

Elation & Letdown

When the expectant mother went into labor, we barely had enough time to get there for the birth. It was the middle of the day and she called us around lunch time, so both of us were at work. We rushed home, quickly packed our things, and drove the 12 hours to her. We arrived at the hospital around 2am. Our beautiful daughter, Margot, was born just a few hours later, at 6am. Kailey had the amazing opportunity to be in the delivery room when Margot was born and it was so special for her to be able to welcome our daughter into the world.

While at the hospital, we were able to meet some friends of the birthmother’s and he shared with us how much he felt Margot’s birthmother had grown through getting to know us and how confident she seemed in herself. It meant the world to us to hear what an impact we’d made when in reality, she was the one completely changing our lives for the better.

Margot’s birthmother signed the consent paperwork, but her state has a five-day revocation period, which means she had five days in which she could change her mind and legally revoke her consent. We received clearance to leave the state with Margot before the five days had passed, but we felt confident and started our trip home.

On our final day driving home — the fifth day that the revocation period law allowed — we received a call from the birthmother’s attorney letting us know she had changed her mind about her adoption plan and decided to parent. In an utterly shocked state, we turned the car around and headed back to Margot’s birth state to reunite her with her birthmother. It was the hardest thing we ever had to do.

A Devastating Loss

As we were driving back to Margot’s birth state, we shared the news with our families. They were angry, but we couldn’t find it in ourselves to be mad. We just felt deeply, deeply sad.

We met with the birthmother’s attorney upon returning to Margot’s birth state. The birthmother’s mom was the one who came to receive Margot from us because the birthmother was not emotionally ready to face us. We absolutely understood and assured her mom, the attorney, and her social worker that we were never, ever going to be mad at her and that we still loved her. If she felt the best place for Margot was with her, we were going to support that decision.

We called our coordinator at Angel right away and they were so supportive. They offered to give us time away from the process, but we knew that everything happened for a reason, so we chose to resume having our profile presented again right away.

Finding Our Way Back

The following morning, as we started our drive back home, Angel called us with not one, but two new opportunities! We said yes to both. They were each so different from each other and from Margot’s adoption journey. After such a devastating loss, it filled us with so much hope that there could be someone still meant for us. While neither of those opportunities worked out for us, the one that was truly meant for us ultimately did.

Three weeks after Margot’s birth, a phone call woke us up in the middle of night. Kailey answered it and we were shocked to hear the adoption attorney’s voice on the other side. She told us that Margot’s birthmother decided she wasn’t in a position to parent after all, and, if we were still interested, she’d love for us to adopt Margot. It took us no time at all to say yes!

At 6am the following morning, we were on the first available flight out to Margot’s birth state. From the time we got the call from the attorney to being reunited with Margot, it was only about 12 hours.

When we met with the attorney this time, Margot’s birthmother was with her, and she was the one to hand Margot to us. Margot’s birthmother was still a teenager, and we were amazed at her strength in that moment and so impressed by her bravery to call us back. Having Margot back in our arms was the most joyous moment for us, and we could tell no one harbored any negative feelings toward anyone else.

Tough Times Don't Last

Our initial wait for Margot was tough. It was hard to stay distracted while waiting to be chosen, and then again while waiting for the birth. But nothing could have prepared us for how incredibly difficult it was to return home without Margot. During those three weeks, however, we both realized there was so much that we simply couldn’t control. We had to let go of the idea that we were in charge.

We are grateful every single day for Margot, her birthmother, and the immense decision that she made. This process tested us every step of the way, but we would do it all over again in a heartbeat because we know each one of those tests ultimately brought us to our beautiful daughter.