How it all began...
The Road to Parenthood
We always knew we wanted to have three children. We were not sure exactly how that would happen, but after years of struggling, we were successful in having two children. Still feeling we were not complete but starting to accept we were done having any more children was difficult. We had previously talked about adoption, and after not being able to complete our family, we started talking about adoption again. We really didn’t know a lot about adoption but knew people who had adopted. We called twenty different agencies, and after our call with Angel, we just knew it was the right fit for us. We were so excited to be accepted and made sure to get everything done so we could get presented right away!
The First Time
We had no idea what to expect when we started this adventure with adoption. We had friends who had waited years, we already had children, and we worried about our age. We relied on our faith and prayed knowing when it was meant to happen, it would. Only three weeks after going live, we received a call that we had been chosen to talk with an expectant mother. We did know she was talking with other families, and it took about a week before we heard back from her. The communication was very sporadic, but she had such great questions and then asked if we could visit. Of course we went to meet her. Even with the lack of communication, we were not hesitant to meet. The lunch was a very emotional experience for all of us as we created a great bond. We continued to stay in touch for a few months texting, sharing pictures, and made phone calls trying to help her. Eventually she ended up choosing another family to place with, and as sad as we were, we were so happy for all of them. We still have so much respect for her and how she managed this process. We were thankful to even be considered and really enjoyed our time getting to know her.
Completing Our Family
Moving forward, we focused on family, the holidays, keeping busy with the kids’ sports, and living life. We prayed but learned how little control we have with adoption, and this taught us so much patience. We waited another five months before receiving another call. This time the call came in on a Sunday. We knew if Angel was calling on a Sunday, it meant something serious. There was an expectant mother who chose us, and even though she was not due for a few weeks, there was a chance she would deliver very soon. We called her, but there was no answer. We tried for a few days and heard nothing back. Eventually she reached out, but our communication was at odd hours. It was hard to reach her, and she had very little medical information.
Eventually things got a little quiet. Then we received a late night call from the birthfather that the baby was here. He said, “You have a baby boy.” They ended up delivering the baby at home! We were hours away but hopped in the car driving through the night and got to the hospital as quickly as we could. Unfortunately, by the time we arrived, the birthmother had already left the hospital. When we got to the maternity floor, the hospital put us in a room then took us to meet our son. He was so perfect and beautiful. We held him with tears in our eyes and fed him. When it came time to go home, our teen daughter was there with us and sat in the back seat with him the entire ride home. He truly completed our family. We had never felt so happy and finally felt complete. We continue to share updates and stay in touch. His birthmother has shared how happy she is that we are all together and has left him a beautiful letter to read.
Words of Encouragement
When you are going through this process, it is easy to dwell on things. Try to avoid that, and keep yourself distracted and busy. Things truly do work out how they are supposed to. If an opportunity comes along and it doesn’t work out, that is okay. It wasn’t meant for you. The first opportunity taught us so much, and we look at it as a learning experience. You have to be patient, and it will happen. Have faith. There is a baby for you, if you just believe. When you are chosen, don’t go into your conversations all about the baby; focus on her. The hardest part will be accepting that the ball is not in your court; you have to just listen and be understanding. We had to put ourselves in the expectant mother’s shoes and couldn’t imagine what any expectant mother goes through in this situation. Being parents already, we could not imagine how hard it is to hand your baby to another person. We are in awe of any woman that chooses adoption. These women definitely earn their wings! We are forever grateful for our son’s birthparents as they gave us a gift we have no way of repaying them for. Our son will always know how much he is loved by all of his parents. Ultimately, it is worth all the tears and waiting.