How It All Began...
Getting Knocked Down Over and Over
Like so many other adoptive families, we struggled with fertility issues. We did everything in our power to create a family. We went to a fertility clinic and did all of the treatments up until IVF. The hardest part of our fertility journey was our doctor could not explain why we could not get pregnant. As humans we want answers, and when there is no explanation, we want to keep trying until we figure it out.
While on a break from treatment cycles, we ended up getting pregnant, though we miscarried soon after. From Brandon’s side of things, adoption was becoming more real for him. It was extremely hard to sit and watch my wife struggle both physically and emotionally through all of this. He knew how much it meant to her to become a mother and we kept fighting a battle that we did not have answers to. In that moment, we both knew adoption was for us. We knew we wanted to invest our money into providing a child a family rather than fertility with no guarantee.
After exploring other routes for fertility, Brandon talked to his boss who also adopted. We ordered several books as well as researched as much about adoption as we could. Adoption now became part of our daily conversation, making us very eager to start the process.
As we gained more insight about adoption, we knew our next step was to look for our agency. We knew exactly what we were looking for and reached out to a total of three agencies. While the first two we reached out to did not line up with our values, our third agency ended up being the one for us — Angel Adoption. When we sat down with Angel, they just listened. They were there for us and understood what we were looking for. We left our meeting with them and felt a sense of relief that we were on our way to building our family.
The Unexpected Phone Call
One evening when we were getting ready for a trip, we got a call from Angel that an expectant mother wanted to connect with us. We were overjoyed and experienced all of the emotions. We were finally one step closer to building our family! Kayla spent all of our trip talking and getting to know her.
When we got back from our trip, Angel called to inform us the expectant mother wanted to move forward with us. We were extremely excited though shock followed because everything was happening so fast. She was due in just a few short months and we did not have anything prepared. We always hoped for a fast process but never got our hopes up because we knew we had to be realistic.
In the coming months, we still communicated back and forth with her. We grew to understand her back story and knew this was an extremely difficult decision for her to make. One day, she notified us she was feeling some discomfort. We encouraged her to call her doctor to ensure everything was okay with the baby.
A short while later, we found out that she was already at the hospital and delivered the baby in the ambulance. We were in complete shock. We gathered all we could and started our long, but eager drive to meet our little boy.
When we arrived at the hospital, every fear of the unknown vanished. The nurse wheeled our son into the room and tears filled our eyes. In that moment, we knew our son was where he was supposed to be. As a woman going through adoption, the fear of not bonding with the baby was in the back of Kayla’s mind. I can assure you, even though you did not carry your child, the moment you lay eyes on your little one, that fear gets wiped away. Grayson is ours. Kayla may have not carried him, but he was meant to be placed in our home.
Our amazing support system
Throughout this journey, it has been great to have such an amazing support system. Our friends and family have been there for us every step of the way. They were there through the tears as well as the laughter. We believe it is so important to go through this process with a support system because they will be the ones who have the good judgement of when to be excited and when to stay grounded. They were the ones that picked up the pieces when it seemed like the world was crumbling beneath our feet.
Through all the ups and downs that building a family has brought us, never lose sight of why you are doing it. When you hold your child for the first time, all of the unknowns and tears get wiped away. Know this process was chosen for you. You were meant to go through the struggles you did because it will lead you to your miracle. When the doubts kick in, know that you have to have patience and faith. With that you can conquer anything.