How It All Began...
Our Tough Beginning
When Jenn was younger, she was diagnosed with cancer, which left her unable to have children. It was a hard pill to swallow, although she knew she was going to be a mother one day. When we met, we knew early on in our relationship that we could not have children, so we always saw adoption as the route for us.
When we settled down and wanted to start the process of adoption, we found Angel Adoption through Facebook. We looked at Angel for about two years before we reached out. We were invested in adoption and knew we wanted the right agency for us. Within those two years, we filed information along with Angel’s statistics with their success rates. We then compared them to other agencies and found that Angel had the highest rates with the happiest families in the end. When we reached out to schedule a meeting, we were welcomed with open arms. We immediately felt a connection, and they were extremely confident in their work. This made starting this process easier than expected.
As we started the legality process with adoption, a lot of it was similar to fostering. We have been foster parents for a few years, so gathering our home study was almost identical to the fostering process. When we started the process of our profile, there were times when our nerves got inside our heads. When our profile was first on the website, we found ourselves second-guessing our wording, wondering if it was truly capturing who we are. Pushing those feelings aside, we became truly excited about this journey and knew it was going to help build our family.
Expectation Versus Reality
When we told our families we were moving forward with adoption, every single family member was over the moon for us as we were embarking on this journey. Within the first month of our profile being live on Angel’s website, we received a call from Angel informing us about a potential expectant mother wanting to move forward with us. We were ecstatic and were not expecting something like this to happen so soon. Without hesitation, we agreed to start talking and felt a connection. After communicating back and forth for about two to three months, she stopped responding to us out of the blue. We were confused and hurt but knew she was taking the steps she needed to take. We found out later that she decided to parent. Of course, like anybody, we were hurt, but we knew she was making the best decision for herself and her baby.
We were about 17 months in before we had another expectant mother wanting to talk with us. During this time, we were feeling worn out and second-guessing the entire process. We started to wonder if there were things wrong with us and why we were not getting chosen. When we started our journey, we wanted so badly to be one of those early success stories but found ourselves in the complete opposite direction.
Pushing through those negative thoughts, we agreed to start communicating with her. We started off through text, and there was an immediate connection. We found out we shared so many similarities, such as how we were raised and how we grew up. There was truly organic chemistry between us.
Timing Is Everything
As time passed, we agreed we wanted to meet with each other in person. She invited us to her first ultrasound, and we were over-the-moon excited. We met her the night of her first ultrasound, and our nerves were high. She picked her favorite restaurant, and the moment we sat down, those nerves vanished. Our conversations flowed very well, and the connection we had through text carried over in person. Leaving our first visit with her, we knew she was the one who would help grow our family.
As the months passed, we played the waiting game leading up to her induction date. She wanted us there for the delivery and was willing to go around our schedules knowing that Eddie works harder hours as he is a firefighter. We came out a few days early before her induction date, allowing us to settle in. On the day before her induction, we took her out to dinner, cherishing those moments. The following day, we all met at the hospital, ready for the wait to finally be over.
Meeting Our Angel
We were lucky enough to have our own room right next to hers. We would go check up on her periodically, and Jenn found herself having a heart-to-heart with her. They ended up crying together, and she assured Jenn we were not taking her baby from her; she was simply giving us the greatest gift anyone could receive. Shortly after, the nurses came in and informed us she was fully dilated. Eddie came rushing into the room, and moments later, our sweet Abigail Maye was born. Eddie was able to cut the umbilical cord, and Jenn could see in his face that he was so happy at that moment. Our eyes filled with tears as we knew our lives had changed forever and the wait was finally over.
Today we have a semi-open adoption, but she knows the invitation is always open if she is in town and wants to meet up. We still talk a few times a week, allowing us to maintain our relationship that we will cherish forever. We cannot thank Abigail’s birthmother enough for giving us our greatest gift and allowing us to be the parents we have always dreamed of being.
Going through this journey can be hard, but know when the timing is right, it will happen. Keeping yourself busy is key because most of the time, people are not going to go through the adoption process quickly. Switch the negative mindset of why you are not getting chosen, focus on being present, and know that patience is key. Our waiting time allowed us to become closer as a couple, and we learned to lean on each other when times were rough. It also allowed us to build such a strong relationship with Abigail’s birthmother that we will truly cherish forever. We live in a society where we want instant gratification, but when adopting, that will never be the case. We went through a total of four different expectant mothers so we know first hand that this process can be hard and emotional. Patience is key, and every second of the wait is worth it when you finally hold your baby in your arms. Without the hard times, we would not be holding our sweet Abigail in our arms. We are thankful for adoption every day for bringing home our miracle.